String quintet

Now shortened to a 7 minute piece for a string quintet! Many apologies for the sound quality of the appended mp3.

Feel free to listen and comment!

strak120091109.mp3 - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage

/ BR Tomas Fridstrom, Stockholm Sweden

strak120091109.pdf

strak120091109.MUS

there are some unproper interval and chord appear suddenly , change it . then the music will be fine

dark@@

I thought that high F in the beginning was a bit yarring. The first theme is interesting. I got a bit of a scandinavian feel from it. I quess this isn't all that strange since you are Swedish. I think the textures are too monotone. The piece could benifit from a more polyphonic treatment of the voices. Some countermovement would make it more interesting.

The piece goes on with the same material a very long time. I think you could put in a second theme of some other kind of contrasting section a bit sooner in the piece.

The second theme could be a bit more contarsting than it is now. It's more of a variation, then a contrast. That's oke, but the the lenght of the piece isn't really done right to this way. From the material you have the piece should be shorter imo.

I hope you take this criticism so i'll benefit your piece.

You can make this anlot more interesting with very little work- try adding more rhythm to your accompaniments. Instead of four quarter notes plodding along, get a rhythmic motive going- the whole texture of the peice will change.

Good effort, though there is much to be desired here.

Musically, the piece is ok. There's come good material here, especially the opening theme that I wish you used more. The form was far too expanded without reason. It was very long and drawn out with no real purpose for it to be so. There was no true development to warrant 10 minutes of same-ness. I had issues with some of the dissonences but I'll leave that for someone else.

The score is atrocious. Obviously Finale is hard to work with, but that is NO excuse to post a bad score. A few basic tips:

• Dynamics go BELOW the staff unless it's vocal music
  
• Tempo markings appear ONCE above the top staff, not in all parts.
  
• Ritardando markings and the like are sometimes written in italics and sometimes in boldface like the other tempo markings. It really depends on preference. I prefer the boldface for consistency if it's a group change, i.e. all the instruments change at the same rate. If it's a solo part's tempo change, then write it in italics in the part not on top.
  
• The size of the score should be significantly smaller to have more music on the page. Three systems at least should be on a page for a string orchestra piece.
  
• Playing markings like "pizz." and "arco" are NOT in italics but in standard font because they are not "expression" marks but "technique" marks.
  
• There are several note spacing issues throughout. I'd say reset the whole score and adjust manually later if needed.
  
• Violoncello parts that are higher than three ledger lines for a consistent period of time should be in Tenor or Treble clef, i.e. starting m. 16
  
• Ties are not slurs. There are many places where there are hanging ties everywhere when clearly you wanted slurs.
  
• Almost every case of Db, Ab, and Gb in this piece should be C#, G#, and F#. Fix the accidental spelling because the tonality is D minor. Also, add cautionary accidentals if necessary.
  
• Dotted quarters in pizz. Bass is superfluous. Write them as quarter notes with quarter rests. If you want to be very clear, put a hanging tie or indicate lassez vibrer (sp?) or "let vibrate"
  
• Tied 8ths on the 2nd and 3rd 8th of 2 beats should be a quarter, i.e. m 23 in cello should be in beat 3 and 4: 8th, quarter, 8th.

Hope this is helpful to you. Good luck and happy composing! :)

Dark..., gijs..., c7music, Justin!

Thanks a LOT for your valuable, detailed and constructive feedback. I agree with most of your comments on length, same-ness etc (even though I thought the structure of the piece was quite ok when I posted it... Not anymore).

One thing:

there are some unproper interval and chord appear suddenly , change it . ...

dark@@

Example please, would be very helpful!

Thanks again for comments.

/ BR Tomas F.

Thanks again for all comments. I have updated the first post with a brand new version!

/ BR Tomas Fridstrom