July 20, 200917 yr Hey Dark, While I'm sorry to hear about this incident, I don't want to sugar coat this review as I want to help you get better. Your orchestration could a LOT more adventurous. It's kind of blocky -- You rely a lot on sticking with groups of instruments. For example, one brass instrument comes in then the next do. Same with winds. I think you could get a lot from studying Webern, so check out his orchestrations. I would have liked even more rhythmic variation and some pitch variation. I think you have some pretty solid ideas here though. I'd like to see a bit more out of this though.
July 20, 200917 yr Author it is a neo-classical style . thx char the sounds , the timbres are what i want . i do know that
July 20, 200917 yr it is a neo-classical style .thx char the sounds , the timbres are what i want . i do know that If it sounds how you want it, great. But I'm really excited to see how your timbral language develops.
July 20, 200917 yr Author If it sounds how you want it, great. But I'm really excited to see how your timbral language develops. thx . i will try best to improve myself ^^ dark-princess advice !!!!!!!!!!!!! would you mind give me some advice
July 21, 200917 yr I once got the advise to study stravinsky (rite of spring) for texture, and I think debussy orchrstral works would be great either Then you have to destilate the elements you would like to try and add to your language...
July 21, 200917 yr Author I once got the advise to study stravinsky (rite of spring) for texture, and I think debussy orchrstral works would be great eitherThen you have to destilate the elements you would like to try and add to your language... i dont like debussy
July 21, 200917 yr i dont like debussy ok... :blush: but why not? then do you like stravinksy? btw. On the site of northernsounds is rimsky-korzakovs Principles of Orchestration. Many lessons contains examples that show some interesting textures. But I think everyone knows this site?
July 22, 200917 yr Author ok... :blush: but why not? then do you like stravinksy?btw. On the site of northernsounds is rimsky-korzakovs Principles of Orchestration. Many lessons contains examples that show some interesting textures. But I think everyone knows this site? i like stravinsky but the orchestration will be use the proper way on this piece . i know what i want
July 22, 200917 yr Hi darkangel2008hk... I hope that the story with your brother beating you it's a bad joke...:( About the music... I will try to help you through honesty, and not through false praise! There are some pretty good ideas here and I quite enjoyed them! Like the section around measure 100, with that morbid piano atmosphere, it's really a brain wave! Also around 187... Very powerful, you do have the juice for that kind of energy! Good for you! But... It's interesting... I've seen, by chance, your comment on one of the pieces here where you questioned the status of the composer... You said that, first of all, the composer is a human being, and that you must "see" your music from the listeners perspective... I wonder, have you "seen" this work from the audience perspective? Or from the interprets' perspective? What would the percussionist say? Or the harpist? Or... the conductor? I will let you answer those... rhetorical questions... Also, I would advise you to quit the copy & paste "technique"... Only if you want a minimalist work... then you are encouraged to do that! I will confess that, in my previous works, I was too lazy to bring something new in the second A (assuming it's an ABA work), or lying to myself that it's what I wanted, so copy/paste was a good way to elongate my musical piece. Quantity doesn't equal quality. If you want a certain sound - like those rapid notes at the timpani - and the instrument (the real one) cannot offer you that (always consult an Orchestration treaties) look for an alternative! Your orchestral apparatus is pretty massive... You do have options! Also you have some alternative measures that doesn't make sense... If they exist, they have to have a purpose! You know what I mean... For example you have a measure of 1/2 followed by a 3/4... Why the first measure isn't a 2/4? Use alternative measures when the music ask it, not the desire to look "modern/contemporary", although alternative measures are quite "classical" now... :P You have the ideas, you have the desire, but do you have the patience? Look for the most critical and impartial individuals and try to resist their criticism! And I'm not referring to blogs or forums... Go to as many professor as you can and show them your works and try to filtrate the advices that suit you. But do not be stubborn and say that the timbres are what i want or things like that... Listen to as many composers as you can... chronologically or not and be critical to yourself! Try to taste from everything and then create your own "sandwich"! :laugh: Good luck and congrats!
July 22, 200917 yr Author thx for your advice !! seb i tell you the truth , i was respected you since i met you in yc, your muisc is very powerfull and complex and i have nothing to say and advice for you becasue i can only say , that is a COOL music , that is right .. COOL music i still figure how improve the music into your level and near level . you both are cool composer i mean it thank you dark-gaiking-princess
July 22, 200917 yr Good work Kaka. A few quick suggestions: As I mentioned, I think you could insert a 'forgiveness' theme towards the latter half of the piece (or at least, towards the latter half of the 'B' section, if we consider this as ABA.) If this piece is ABA, then what you could do is allow the forgiveness theme to permeate through the second A section....it would be a nice effect, and create quite a different tone to the piece. There are some glaring orchestration issues, as others have mentioned. The graces notes in the violins are un-idiomatic, and should be written as full notes with a definite rhythmic value. This applies to when you use it in other instruments too. Be wary of starting a trumpet on such a high note as (concert) high C. It'll be playable, but by a medium level orchestra, you're in much danger of having that note split. Usually brass (esp. trumpet) high notes are led up to by a scale or arpeggio figure. A little more rhythmic variety would be good. Perhaps break out of the 'steady 2 in a bar' feel a little more often. Good moods and atmosphere though. I also like the economy of thematic use.
July 22, 200917 yr Author thank you master daniel , and thank you for you to teach me to compose thank dark-princess
July 22, 200917 yr wow, impressive piece. I've listened the piece, it's not quite my style, (dont like avantgarde just to make noise) It's functional, great job. I have a question on the orchestration (learned myself, so dont expect a lot) I think you use the bassoon in ms 191/2 and 95/6 and further to enforce the brass. the other measures the brass and lower strings do something different, and the ostinato bassoon motive gets overblown... You can't enforce brass with woodwinds... Especially not tubas with bassoons, MAYBE a contrabassoon, but bassoons usually just ruin the sound.
July 22, 200917 yr You can't enforce brass with woodwinds... Especially not tubas with bassoons, MAYBE a contrabassoon, but bassoons usually just ruin the sound. That was sort of my point :) But dark said it was on purpose?
July 22, 200917 yr Author That was sort of my point :) But dark said it was on purpose? yes ...on purpose
July 23, 200917 yr DEnjoyed listening to this. Some nice things going on. -constructive comment is constructive. . . -
July 25, 200917 yr First I am sorry about your brother his is an idiot. Secondly I like this piece, It is extremely raw and that is what makes it special. It doesn't sound like you tried to be to fancy, but that you let your emotions dictate this piece to you. My favorite part is the climax (m192?). The whole piece is like a cup your filling up with water (emotions), and the climax is when the water overflows and gets everywhere. Good job keep on writing.
July 26, 200917 yr This definitely gets the theme across of tension, and betrayal. I like the instrumentation. I especially liked near the beginning with the trumpet and the piano. You also did a good job with reiterating the theme, and the the whole rhythm in the timpani, and the constant beat every two beats definitely built up tension. Near the ending I did like the piano and the runs, right before the hits. :) It was a little too long for my taste, because at that length the song DID get a little repetitive. Just a bit shorter, and you won't have that problem at all. :) Anyways, a very dark song to portray the sense of "abuse" happening..good job! He didn't hit you again did he? You aren't still with your brother if he did, and after he hit you the first time? You should probably do something about that if you are... Call child services or the police.
