"The Spirit" and Commitment-Phobia?

I suppose that title is vaguely cryptic. I'll explain.

So obviously a lot of composers have felt "the spirit moving through them," so to speak--that is, inspiration, an idea from nowhere, an insatiable creative drive that can't be ignored, a sudden clarity, etc. etc. Basically, when you know where a piece is going, or know what a piece wants to do, from an artistic standpoint.

But I also suffer from what I'd call compositional commitment-phobia, and I wonder if anyone else does. What I'm articulating very badly here is that, say I want to write a choral piece, and I find a text that I really like. I sit down to start to write, but I can't get started, because every time I find a motif that I like, I start being afraid that it's not the "right" one, that if I start to write down a certain path I'll lose that text forever to the music I just wrote, when really there was a much better setting I could have done. It's the same when I start any other piece, or even when I decide on instrumentation.

So I'm asking people if they also suffer from compositional commitment-phobia, because I'm curious, but I also want to hear people's take on this specific situation: so I was browsing online and came across this contest for which you had to set a piece of Longfellow text for SATB choir, a cappella or with piano accompaniment. I sat down with a text I rather liked, and realized that what I was writing could go very well with instrumental accompaniment, either string quartet or possibly handbells (but maybe the latter is a bit overambitious... oh well). But that's not very well within the regulations of the competition. So I'm basically just trying to figure out whether I take this text that I actually like, and the setting I've started that I actually like, and write the rest of it a cappella to comply with the contest, or write it with a string (or possibly bells) accompaniment--which isn't the only way the piece could go, in my head, just a creative whim that I think would work rather well. 'Course I'm not asking anyone to make up my mind for me, I'm just curious if anyone else has similar problems, and what people would do in this case.

You're paralyzing yourself by overanalyzing.

Just write it. Once it's done, THEN agonize over if you want to orchestrate it.

You can't think of it in terms of is this the right one or not. Such a thing doesn't exist. Now, one can ask "Is this appropriate?" So, let it flow. Honestly, I have found if you let the music "compose itself" it usually works out for the best. When you speak, do you pause and wonder which words you should say, should have said, ought to...ah .. now you have found yourself in a fetal position unable to speak. Don't let that happen in your music as well. Yes there are mistakes but that is why God created erasers and the backspace button... oh yeah and "undo".

I don't know... sometimes when I let the music compose itself i get off track and the music composes itself into another song...

What I am saying is... you have to keep a focus or else you'll get lost in the music. So don't drown yourself too much.

I KNOW!

Sometimes I get a motif... but it's not good enough! Or an idea... and when I write it down, I realise that it is not going to be excellent.

Currently, I am working on a piece... but it isn't good enough! Damn!

This is drama. I understand. I feel the same.

:ermm:

I have experienced the same thing.

You have to accept the fact that your piece is not going to live up to your expectations; You are not going to find a better theme to this text or that text because you are not a better composer than the themes you have presently. Accept the fact that you don't presently have the ability to treat the text as well as you would like and either make do with a sub-par treatment, or set the theme aside until you have improved your abilities.

Focus on self-improvement rather than constantly expecting yourself to perform at an unrealistic level (the top level) of performance.

If you follow that advice, and the advice of Flint and Ticktock, I suspect that, among other benefits, you will find that you view your themes in a much more gratifying, realistic, and encouraging light.

Besides, I doubt there will ever be any shortage of brilliant texts.

Btw, I'm not judging your abilities, of which I am ignorant. These dynamics apply regardless of ability.