Down in Flames

Written for a pop punk rock band I plan on assembling one day. MIDI FILE written in Guitar Pro (the vocal part is substituted with Reed Organ)Thoughts?Lyrics:(0:15)Don't..!(0:36)She gave her life as a sacrificeShe did it for youShe gave you a life for a lifeSo say your goodbyes; this heart has retiredAnd stop for a secondJust try to admire her...(0:54)She gets you higher(Chorus - 0:56)Your heart is racing too fast, it'sToo late; it happened so fast(The start of her bitter end..)Her precious lighterHer face is all around andYour walls are burning down(So incase you haven't learned..)Don't play with fire(1:16)She took a toaster straight to the bathtub(And held tight)Then she had the shock of her lifeHer memory, it lingered, and started a fireOf heartache, compassion, her will to inspireYour friendships are treasures to never be buriedSo let it linger as you wear it on your sleeve(And BREATHE!)(1:42)She gets you higher(Chorus - 1:44)Your heart is racing too fast, it'sToo late; it happened so fast(The start of her bitter end..)Her precious lighterHer face is all around andYour walls are burning down(So incase you haven't learned..)(Bridge - 1:57)Just breathe..To free (Just free) your mindYou'll get over it (Over it) in timeKeep her memory and remember you're aliveBut you're burning it (To hell) this time(2:39)Don't..!(2:48)Don't you deny..(2:54)She gets you higher(Chorus - 2:56)Your heart is racing too fast, it'sToo late; it happened so fast(The start of her bitter end..)Her precious lighterHer face is all around andYour walls are burning down(So incase you haven't learned..)(3:10)Don't play with fire(Chorus - 3:12)Your heart is racing too fast, you'reCaught up in the aftermath(The cause of your bitter end..)Your precious lighterHer face is all around andYour walls are burning down(So incase you haven't learned..)(3:26)Don't..!

Down in Flames

This is incredibly catchy!

I think this would be a wicked song done in real time. The MIDI doesn't even sound THAT bad, mostly because the instruments are already electric, but that's beside the point. It's got a driving groove and I dig it. Makes me wanna pump out some intense metal tunes. Putting the lyrics in kinda helped put a little structure to it. If I were you, I'd find some different midi patches that are more realistic and then do some mixing and blending to make it sound as real as possible.

There are a lot of good ideas in here. Chorus sections I can just imagine heavy-hitting distortion and synchronized drum impacts. I also dig the build up to the choruses. Enjoyed it.

You can really see the way in which the instrument lines reflect on the lyrics you've written to accompany the piece. I think a lot of people would be able to relate to this and it would be a great success. My only suggestion would be if you were to take the first few lines of the chorus sung fot the third time at 2:56:

'Your heart is racing too fast, it's

Too late; it happened so fast

(The start of her bitter end..)

Her precious lighter'

and have that part acapella. If you use just the singers' voices with the harmony you've used already when singing the chorus, it'll create a really good dynamic effect that'll help to emphasise the meaning of the words. If you want, you can bring in the drums slightly early (at the end of the line 'Her precious lighter') and then have all the other instruments join in on the next line 'Her face is all around...'.

Good luck and keep on writing, you have a great talent for it!

Good stuff. Except midi sucks. You should record it in a home studio or something.

You should try rendering it using GP's RSE... This is definitely good sounding so far, even if the melodies are somewhat a little too, "pop-like" I guess, for my liking. However, that suits the style you are writing for, so that is well done.

I'd be interested in hearing a proper recording of this.

This is really catchy, had my attention right from the start!

As for criticism, I think the only thing is that it's midi, like has been said before me.

I liked as others who wrote before me. Maybe you can add more drum fills and some variations to make it sound more interesting. I just didn't like the ending. It felt like suddenly stop to me.