My Song

My second piano piece (third overall composition).

I had no real good idea for the title, since I wasn't quite sure where I was going when writing this; it just sorta happened.

Personally, I'm not too sure if the first part fits the rest of the song.

Opinions/criticisms/tips/etc much appreciated! :)

- I used MuseScore for the score, and Garageband for putting it together.

My Song

The beginning, up to about 20s, is too choppy IMO. But when the arpeggios in the bass become continuous it sounds nice. Dynamics would help out a lot. The new part at around 50s is a bit too abrupt for me but sounds nice. Possibly rolling the chord more and using more notes would help a bit or using a ritardando.

My suggestion is that you work on it more. It has potential. If you can add dynamics it to it you'll get a much better rendition. Try getting a piano sample library to use and you'll get way better sounds.

Yeah, I'm not too happy about that first part either. As for the part around 50, it's supposed to be rallentando.

I'm still new to Garageband, so the Dynamics aren't the way I want them to be; working on it!

Thanks for the comment. :)

Well, work on it some more and you'll come out with a nice piece

I definitely like the second section and the ending part. The third second is ok but probably could be worked on to make it a bit more interesting. The first section's main problem, IMO, is the odd rhythms used in the bass. I would probably just continue the arpeggio in some way rather than stop of the 4th note. It's not bad but is odd and sounds a big weird since we, at least me, expect it at least to end on the beat or on a proper subdivision of the beat.

Once you get a good sampled piano on it with proper dynamics it should be pretty nice.

Hi Nicrion,

I have not had time yet to look at your score, so my comments are only based on your audiofile. The last part (as of 50) should indeed be a rallentando, which it is not for the moment, but it is good that you have noted it your self.

As for the part up to 20: could it be an idea to regard it as a kind of entry which is slower from the part between 20 and 50. I think the chords would work that way but then you need to expand the part between 20 and 50, to get an equallity.

Kind regards,

Wolfgang Sachs

Not a bad work. Very pop inspired, perhaps a little jazzy at times. I generally agree with John said above, the opening is a little choppy. I think one thing that could really help is to expand portions of this to make it longer. It was incredibly short - but yet felt like it had a lot more to say.

in my opinion, this is an amazing piece. this music shows alot of emotion, (mostly at the end) yet i agree Jawoodruff, ti could use a little something more.

I agree with the general consensus :happy:

I think that while the piece as a whole really works well, some of the pop-like conventions are not really welcome :lol: The intro's rhythm was ok, I thought, but the harmony in the first two measures, where at the top of the runs are: Eb, G, Ab, and then after that, the Bb just sounds awkward. You may want to fiddle with the runs here to lead into the main body of the piece better.

And as Woodruff said, the piece definitely has a lot more to say than you have here :thumbsup: I can't wait to see what you really do with your current material!

Thanks for sharing, this was really very nice! :D

Thanks for all the comments, guys! I still have a lot to learn, and this really helps. :happy:

About the 'pop' like part: I was first inspired by the Tales Of Symphonia Battle theme, which is what this piece started out as, a battle theme.

But as I progressed, it changed into something different. This is also why I changed the left hand in the intro, so it would be more of a unit rather than different parts smashed together.