May 17, 201016 yr Hey Luna; welcome to YC! Neat piece. The orchestration and melodies are pretty good. I think the opening could have developed a bit more. Instead of developing it from where it is right now, I think you could scale back the orchestration and have the first 4 bars be just the flute and some of your lower instruments. Gradually, you could add instruments and thicken up the texture. When you intersperse the orchestra with the piano solos, I think the transition between the two could be smoother. It's a bit jarring when the orchestra comes in out of nowhere after the piano's played a couple of bars. What if you added some percussion that led into the orchestra section with some kind of fill or roll? What if your orchestra had a pickup leading into its section? Nice work, Luna! I saw that you've been commenting on other people's pieces. That's a good habit since it draws more people to your own compositions. Take care, -John
May 17, 201016 yr I really like the melodies in this piece. The main thing to work on here is making the transitions smoother, like John pointed out. Emotionally, I'm not really getting the "samurai" feel. I would try using more oriental instruments, like koto, shakuchachi and the like.
May 17, 201016 yr hey there , welcome to YC . ur piece is not bad at all . you just need to improve ur orchestration a bit . variate in the instruments playing the melodies , and change the texture of the piece as it gets boring with the same texture from the start to the end . and dont always use the flute to double a melody , it gets a bit annoying near the end , where all you did for it is that it backups other instruments. and i think your piece could use a few counter melodies as it will give the listener some interesting things to listen to :) . and for the pizzicato part , i think you should done the same chord that is played but not just harmonic , maybe if you did it a bit melodic it would be better , just the same chord with some melodic intervals played (pizzicato) but with different strings section and different layering , and i think that you shouldnt have the doublebass play pizzicato technique , because i think you need some bassy sound playing throughout that part. anyway , good job , you just need a few things to work on :) .
