First Orchestral Piece. Updated

Update of piece,

Just want to know what criticisms people have of the orchestration, structure, general feel and material.

If there's anything that is glaringly obviously 'wrong' then please point it out to me.

Obviously still has a lot of work in terms of orchestrating and developing melodic material but so far what do people think.

thanks,

Sophie.

Stay true, Sophie

I think I'm focusing on the orchestration in this piece.

Also I wanted to write something that has a more 'commercial' and vaguely film music feel to it.

So I guess the main focus for this piece was to have simple melodic material, but to try and orchestrate/arrange well.

Were you influenced by rock (or some other contemporary music form) for this piece? It has a lot of energy, but I don't feel much 'depth' as for now, if you know what I mean. I like your red shoes and string quartet much better than this piece. I don't get the Sophie Mojsiejenka feeling I got from the other two pieces (as far as 2 pieces are able to state such a general impression). What did/do you have in mind when writing this, what inspirations, what pictures etc?

Any new versions up already?