Atonal Peice #2 revised theme 1

for lessons with Morgri

Atonal Peice #2 revised theme 1

Well ... what's the lesson? What are you trying to learn to do? There's really not too much one can say on literally 15 seconds of material :blink:

Whatever it is you're trying to do, I hope it goes well :nod:

Not knowing what the theme was without the revision, I feel pretty uncomfortable with this. If that is your goal, than congratulations, but I don't see the point in making music for that purpose. Why make a theme without it having a clear goal - and I don't mean beginning and ending points (which I do like though), but with atonal music wouldnt you want to make better use of your rhythms and registers? There is virtually nothing in this theme to cling on to. It very much feels like a random doodle. What are you trying to say with this? I know this is just an exercise but even those cannot merely be some notes randomly arranged one after another.

- Ok, so that was my first impression. I have listened to the other 2 themes for this piece, and hearing what you are doing with them makes me 'get' it better, but I am still convinced that this first theme is not the best starting point. The first few notes are ok, but from 0:08-0:13 there is nothing for me.

-- Just listened to your first version of the atonal piece 2, and I think these are some good improvements: I suppose that you are going to use theme 1 and 2 and 3 in succession, with some other parts in between? I like that idea.

So, my overall advice would be: try to get more out of your theme (esp. 1st). This is what is going to carry your piece so make sure it is a good one.

These things are very personally, just thought I'd let you know.

Good job that you are actually practicing these things! Keep it up

Wow...um. I have no clue what I did but this wasn't supposed to be posted on the forum, just in my composition list. :facepalm: