Saturn

i've accepted alessandrogozzo advice, and I made minor edits, shrinking a little bit some parts. it's still the same piece, but not exactly :D

Saturn

I think the "18 Violins" and "11 Violins" are just different patches so you may choose a sound of a large violin section or a normal one, but not necessarily to use them as Violins I & II...

I recommend you to use the "Edit" and then "Reupload Media" instead creating a new thread, so you don't loose you old comments, for instance the one I made.

My comment is more or less the same, the music is very powerful, but I think the large orchestra, deserves a larger work (more movements) to develop and "justify" the resources you call for.

Not bad at all, just try to be less like Holst and more like yourself ;)

Why is this written all in 2/4? There's no reason for it. It would probably be even better in 4/2 seeing the tempo.

Agreed with above, stop trying to be like Holst (and his film score pal derivatives).

@SYS65

i didn't know about reupoload media, so i will use it next time. In ewql violins are not the same sample just divided by names like in gpo, there are two sample libraries and they sounds quite different; and as far as I know the first violins are always more numerous than second. I am working on the other planets now, and i really don't have anything more to say about the Saturn lolz.

@Tokkemon

If i named this piece for eg. "magic swamp" you wouldn't think of Holst at all, so Maybe you are right about tempo change i almost never change incial tempo in my works, but i will have that on my mind for my next works.

@Tokkemon

If i named this piece for eg. "magic swamp" you wouldn't think of Holst at all

Yes I would have.

okey super intelligent being :D

I am not so bothered by your interest in Holst. If you consider how often his works are programmed, it makes sense to attempt it if you can differentiate yourself.

That said, I think you can do a better job with some of your orchestration decisions as well as harmonic choices. Ab minor? I think G# minor is a better choice. Harmonically, I think you could do more to move through more key areas than you do. I don't need to say too much about the content because it's your piece to write.

Let me finish on a positive note. I love the ambition of the work. Any large scale work with two Timpani parts gets a thumbs up from me. Good start! Thanks for sharing with us.

Love it! Would make an excellent soundtrack! Bravo.

I enjoyed it. I see the influences as slightly more diverse such as the start of Gorecki’s Symphony No. 3 at the start of your piece. I also hear some Vaughan Williams – Symphony No. 6 and I do hear some of the close ties to Holsts Planets and Shostakovich. These are good comparisons.

The orchestra seems unnecessarily large. For example, 3 piccolos plus 3 flutes, etc? 3 bassoons but it is almost always written as 1 unison line (except a few places in octaves). Just consider being more efficient with your use of instrumentation.

Also, I think a sense of rhythmic variety at the start would help it. For example, think of the start of Shostakovich Symphony No. 10 where the cello and bass play out a long melody with plenty of rhythmic interest maintained. Some places the melodic lines would build and have dialog with each other – perhaps the low strings answer a phrase from the high strings?

In bar 30, why does the harp have three beats but the orchestra has 2 beats per measure? Are these triplets?

I also think it needs more harmonic variety – both in terms of the functional harmony but also harmonizing some of the melodic lines could make it more interesting. For example, starting at bar 6, the cello plays the double bass line sounding an octave higher. After the third repeat of the phrase (which should be slurred to not play as detached notes but rather as a phrase), you take the cello up to C flat. Perhaps the double bass should hold the G natural. Basically, there is quite a bit of doubling rather than thinking in terms of lines.

A flat minor is not a very good key and it doesn’t seem to really need to be in this key. String players would not be happy with you here. Basically, you could say the same thing more directly and more easily which is something we should all strive for musically.

Nice job overall.

@ LordNemrod thanks for listening, i am glad you like it :wink:

@karelm also thanks to you, especially cause you take it more profound; i really like when people gives specific constructive suggestions, than just "stop trying to be like Holst" :rolleyes: or "orchestration is wrong" without saying what is actually wrong and should be changed.

First let me say that I am learning compostion as well as orchestration and i'am still beginner. Second i would not use the word "influences" since i never heard pieces you mention, in my opinion nowdays is more likely that one would writte a piece that is reminiscent of something, than it isn't. Speaking of influences, i like "Night on bare mountain" by Mussorgsky which has an atmosphere i tried to achieve in my "Saturn", and will try in other planets i am writting; and all of them would be quite similar. Numbers of instruments are copied from sound library i used (ewql glod xp pro) except piccolos and bassoons, but if i whant a chord or interval in piccolo or bassoon i must ask more than one instrument (although I am aware that this piece will never be performed live, so it's not issue on which i pay special attention:) I agree that his piece would be much interesting if i played with harmony more, but i have to say that harmony and counterpoint is something i am learning trough composing. And i choosed Ab minor cause of this http://img821.images...us/i/keyso.jpg/ strangely notation software i am using doesn't have G#. Anyway, thanks again for coments i appreciate it, and i will study pieces you mention especially Shostakovichs 10th.

@ LordNemrod thanks for listening, i am glad you like it :wink:

@karelm also thanks to you, especially cause you take it more profound; i really like when people gives specific constructive suggestions, than just "stop trying to be like Holst" :rolleyes: or "orchestration is wrong" without saying what is actually wrong and should be changed.

First let me say that I am learning compostion as well as orchestration and i'am still beginner. Second i would not use the word "influences" since i never heard pieces you mention, in my opinion nowdays is more likely that one would writte a piece that is reminiscent of something, than it isn't. Speaking of influences, i like "Night on bare mountain" by Mussorgsky which has an atmosphere i tried to achieve in my "Saturn", and will try in other planets i am writting; and all of them would be quite similar. Numbers of instruments are copied from sound library i used (ewql glod xp pro) except piccolos and bassoons, but if i whant a chord or interval in piccolo or bassoon i must ask more than one instrument (although I am aware that this piece will never be performed live, so it's not issue on which i pay special attention:) I agree that his piece would be much interesting if i played with harmony more, but i have to say that harmony and counterpoint is something i am learning trough composing. And i choosed Ab minor cause of this http://img821.images...us/i/keyso.jpg/ strangely notation software i am using doesn't have G#. Anyway, thanks again for coments i appreciate it, and i will study pieces you mention especially Shostakovichs 10th.

Hi Dule,

Just a few comments - if you haven't heard the composers I mentioned, I would certainly advise you to listen and explore because they are far from obscure composers. It is like an actor having never heard of Lawrence Olivier or Richard Burton. It becomes hard to accept the actor as serious. Also, even though you might not have heard the works I listed as "influences", I assume you've heard others who have been influenced by those same works. Sorry, I didn't catch that the number of instruments is based on the samples you were using - makes perfect sense now.

I don't know why you would presume "although I am aware that this piece will never be performed live, so it's not issue on which i pay special attention". There are many reasons why you shouldn't think this. What if you want to apply to a music school? I don't know how old you are or if this is an intention, but practicality is an important concern. Also, perhaps you do meet someone who does offer you a chance to have your music performed (it does happen). So make sure your music is 100% ready to go and that means practical as well. If you have no interest in your music ever being performed, I must ask, why do you have any interest in it being heard at all and in that case, why are you even posting your music here?

Good luck though!

I said never heard pieces, not composers :wink: eg. Shostakovichs 5th is one of my favorite. I think all of us (including great composers) is under some kind of influence consciously or unconsciously, and i was talking about that I wanted to achive the atmosphere and power of sound like in "Night on bare mountain" piece.

I live in country where you can't hope that your work would be performed live even if instrumentation is: one violin. So all things you said is nice, but won't happen. Despite that i do want to learn properly instrumentation, i just said that issue comes after more important issues like harmony, counterp. form, orchestration etc.