Lullaby of the Iroquois

As with all of my choral music, I am hesitant to upload this one without a live recording. Still, I'd like to get some feedback, and I'll post a live recording as soon as it becomes available.Alrighty, so... Let's see, I wrote this piece about a year ago on the way home from a college visit to Ithaca College (where I will be going :D). I had a book of short "best-loved" poems that I had found on a old bookshelf in my home. It's one of those books you'd order off of those Scholastic summer reading catalogs they'd hand out in elementary school. Anyway, There are tons of great poems in there, many of which I plan to set sometime in the future, but as I read the Lullaby of the Iroquois, a little melody started to form in my head. I remember the first part I wrote was the very end, "Little brown baby of mine, go to sleep." In the poem, the speaker compares his/her baby child to a bird falling asleep in its nest.Stylistically, I wanted to keep it relaxed and simple. "This is a song you would really sing to a child," I said to myself. "It needs to have a definite melody with a very accessible harmonic language. I don't need fancy chords getting in the way of the poem's true meaning." That said, I still wanted to put enough "cool stuff" in there to keep it interesting. The end result is, well... I really like it. The piano part alone turned out to be really nice. On a side note, if there are any pianists out there (or if anyone here knows any pianists) who'd like to record just the piano part, I'd be more than willing to let you. Seriously, whether you're absolutely in love with the piece or you just need something to play at the next recital, shoot me a PM if you're interested.Also, a note about the mp3 file.... as I was writing the Lullaby, I got really tired of hearing crappy MIDI "Ahh" s, so I switched the playback instruments of the singers to strings. Now for some reason, Sibelius is being difficult, and it's not letting me switch back to "Ahh"s. So, the strings you hear are actually supposed to be voices. And--as always--I ask that you try to imagine it with real voices. Once I get a live recording up here, that won't be a problem. But until then, even if it did have the "Ahh"s, I'll have to ask you to imagine it with the real thing.Anyway, any sort of feedback would be greatly appreciated, from a simple, "good job," to a furious tirade. Also, if you like the piece and you want to write what your favorite section or measure is, that would be cool. See, there's one part that I especially like in this song, and i want to see whether anyone else shares my sympathies, so to speak.--Miggy TorresHere is the text of the piece:Little brown baby-bird, lapped in your nest, Wrapped in your nest, Strapped in your nest,Your straight little cradle-board rocks you to rest; Its hands are your nest; Its bands are your nest;It swings from the down-bending branch of the oak;You watch the camp flame, and the curling grey smoke;But, oh, for your pretty black eyes sleep is best,—Little brown baby of mine, go to rest.Little brown baby-bird swinging to sleep, Winging to sleep, Singing to sleep,Your wonder-black eyes that so wide open keep, Shielding their sleep, Unyielding to sleep,The heron is homing, the plover is still,The night-owl calls from his haunt on the hill,Afar the fox barks, afar the stars peep,—Little brown baby of mine, go to sleep.--E. Pauline Johnson

Overall, I like the choir parts very much, they are well composed, and seem to paint the text very nicely. I did, however, not like the piano part all that much. Of course the mp3 piano isn't an amazing representation of what it will sound like in the end, but I found it to be a little too busy, not fitting a lullaby and as such clashing with the choir parts.

Overall, I like the choir parts very much, they are well composed, and seem to paint the text very nicely. I did, however, not like the piano part all that much. Of course the mp3 piano isn't an amazing representation of what it will sound like in the end, but I found it to be a little too busy, not fitting a lullaby and as such clashing with the choir parts.

Interesting... Thanks so much for the feedback! I could see what you mean by there being a lot going on in the piano part at times. I'd be interested in seeing what you think if you were to hear it live, cuz like you said, the MIDI piano isn't very flattering. Still, thanks again for the feedback. Are there any specific measures or sections where you feel things are especially too busy? Or is it a more general stylistic thing?

The most important thing that you can do to improve this piece is to vary the tonality. You clearly have a wonderful ear for melody-- I think that some of the harmonies you've chosen, though not exactly "daring", are nonetheless very effective, and it would be absolutely wonderful to see you venture a little bit farther from the established ideas in this piece and create something that has more variation throughout.

Having said that, I find the melodic writing, especially during the tutti sections, to be absolutely wonderful, and perfect for the text that you've written. Other commenters have already noted that the synthesized piano part does you little favors, however, I do think that it would sound significantly better in concert. If you varied both the tonality and the texture of the accompaniment-- particularly the contstant eights outlining the harmonies-- you could really produce something wonderful.

Keep at it! This is definitely a promising piece, and one that I can see becoming very popular in the high-school/middle school market with just a little bit of attention and some luck.

The most important thing that you can do to improve this piece is to vary the tonality. You clearly have a wonderful ear for melody-- I think that some of the harmonies you've chosen, though not exactly "daring", are nonetheless very effective, and it would be absolutely wonderful to see you venture a little bit farther from the established ideas in this piece and create something that has more variation throughout.

Having said that, I find the melodic writing, especially during the tutti sections, to be absolutely wonderful, and perfect for the text that you've written. Other commenters have already noted that the synthesized piano part does you little favors, however, I do think that it would sound significantly better in concert. If you varied both the tonality and the texture of the accompaniment-- particularly the contstant eights outlining the harmonies-- you could really produce something wonderful.

Keep at it! This is definitely a promising piece, and one that I can see becoming very popular in the high-school/middle school market with just a little bit of attention and some luck.

Thank you for the comments, cschweitzer! I originally wrote this piece trying to keep it extremely tonal and accessible, but perhaps I was being too conservative. I will definitely work on taking this piece further, both harmonically and rhythmically. I can see how the constant eighths could get boring after a while, lol. Also, thank you for the comments regarding the text setting. I'm really glad you like it. Just by the way though, I didnt write the poem. It was written by Emily Pauline Johnson way back in the 1900s.

Thanks again for the review!!!

--Miggy