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Piece 2- jungle opening


Rowan
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I was given several picture of and vast and vibrant jungle to produce a piece for and this is what I ended up with. I already have some reservations that I can work on in my next piece but I also wanted an outside opinion to help me improve. If there's anything you like or dislike please let me know it'll help so much.

Thanks, Rowan.

 

 

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:18, careful of passing tones.
:26, G major over C major sounds awkward.
:47, parallel fourths in a very strange modulation, B minor...?
1:03, I don't know if that's MIDI or live, but that piano part is insanely difficult.
2:10, don't cut the animal sounds off so quickly.
ending, dies away too fast.

Okay, you kind of convinced me at 1:35, but it didn't seem all that jungle-ish to me. At least in terms of the standard anyway, I would research some world music... what you wrote is kind of an all purpose vast landscape soundtrack, think of a Planet Earth documentary. 1:35's notes were also quite unique which is nice, constant modulations can be difficult to pull off.

It's okay, but needs a little bit more doctoring. I'm also not sure what's up with your audio recording.

Cheers!
-Monarcheon

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Sorry if this is a hassle but would you be able to expand on what you have said for points :18 :26 and :47 as I cant pin point where I have gone wrong for example what about the G over C was awkward. This first section is in the key of C lydian which feels like G at points until the C reinforces the lydian feel. This created some ambiguity between the key which I liked but this may be why you considered it to be strange. 

Thankfully I do not want this piece performed live otherwise I agree the piano would be way too difficult to play.

Also the 'audio recording' you were referring to im guessing was either the lofi sound i created in the first section or the stutters and cuts at the end of the first section. If so this was intentional as I thought it added to the surprise that the listener would get when the second section comes in.

Thanks for the feed back, Rowan.

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:18, you have a G major chord in the 3rd inversion but the rules state that you can't approach that with another nonharmonic tone.
You've given me no real reason to think that the piece is in C lydian. When looking back to Medieval church modes, starting on an augmented or diminished tone will always imply a different key. In addition, at :22 you use a C∆7 chord which implies it to be the 4th of a progression, due to the suspension. On top of that you start with a C∆7 chord, which, with the self-proclaimed augmented 4th, feels like a set up for a plagal cadence. Maybe I'm just hearing it wrong and missing something.
If you're in CLyd, then the B underneath feels like a vii chord and if you're in G, if feels like a iii, but the melody on top didn't support it well enough to match the new atmosphere in my opinion.
With the audio, it sounds wrong, to me, at least to have the stutter, especially since the lushness of the piece never wavers except for this part.
Everything I say is opinion. Objectivity comes from the creator. Cheers!

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I get what you mean about the inversions making it seem like a different key I didn't consider that as much when writing as i was more focused on the flow of each voicing. 

I also can see how the stutter can be more of a distraction as I didn't execute it very well especially as the piano is left trailing while everything else has stopped. 

Thanks for the help in hindsight I will make sure I dont rush to put up my piece.

Thanks, Rowan.

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