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Song of Renewal for ob, vla, vc


Paul Dunn

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Hi, everyone, this is the first piece of mine I'm posting to this forum. It's a short trio for oboe, viola and cello I  wrote earlier this year. It was the first thing I had written for quite some time, so I gave it the title Song of Renewal. I'll let you form your own conclusions about the style and so on.

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This instrumentation definitely works.  Development is good here.

Concerns:  The way you wrote some of these rhythms to me are nightmarish.  I preach and teach accessibility.  These offsetting quintuplets in syncopated areas with a following trill and dotted 32nds will be a pain to line-up even with the best of them.

2) The ending leaves me hanging but not as a cliffhanger but more or less, it makes me asks a question.  Is this over?  Perhaps a finer sense of repose to your piece.

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I love that instrumentation. Very clever. 
I'm with maestrowick on your rhythms; many of them are written out very strangely, especially when you add dotted versions of or within certain phrases. They may look and sound right theoretically, but even with rehearsal, it almost becomes aleatoric when things are placed in that realm.
The ending I quite like and works in irony with your intended message. Interesting.
My issue was with development. Even in serialist music, a motif isn't enough. You'll look at Webern's Opus 21 and see how things, even with similarly layered rows, are not the end all be all structure of a piece. It sounds like a lot of the same here... I'd personally recommend a bit more developmental homophony or isolated counterpoint to make the arc more clear.

Cheers!

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