January 10, 20179 yr This is an old composition (a favourite of mine, actually) which I originally wrote by hand and have recently made an effort to digitize and re-rendered using a slightly better soundfont. This is a revised version, but I think it can still be further improved. Enjoy. Edited January 11, 20179 yr by francis94
January 13, 20179 yr Hey, cool! I've been digesting this one for a few days and feel comfortable giving some notes now, I think. Really awesome that you can show the effort and control to finish a composition of this length and depth. Starting from the beginning: -The opening three measures didn't feel tied into the piece, kind of like you wanted an introduction but weren't sure what to do. -Throughout the piece, you become less specific about stylistic instructions (especially dynamics)--as a performer, I might be able to interpret your intentions, but would like more of an idea for what you were aiming at. That would also help your electronic playback to sound more live. Also, rehearsal marks, please? :) -@2:30 ish, love the interplay between instruments. very delicately and thoughtfully done, be careful that the tutti entrance at 3:30 ish is smooth--perhaps prepare it with a percussion thing. Same goes for 4:15 when the style changes. -@4:15 ish, cool ideas, especially when you have the call and response between orchestra and guitar. Everything sounds muddy and unclear to me, and I think it's because you have rhythmic and sustained harmony and melodic harmony all in very similar ranges and with similar motion. Imagine the orchestra is a piano--you can have voices crossing and inter-playing, but be aware of when your parts are similar in style, timbre, and range, make sure they don't get in each other's way. Try cutting some out, changing their range, etc., then listen for the difference of clarity. -@5:30 ish, I'm feeling less connection between this section and the sections preceding and following it. It's good music, but feels to me like it belongs in a different piece. When you resume the main them, all is well again. (Around 6:15 I think--it's hard to type and keep up!) Also, Timpani rolls are generally indicated with a roll symbol, looking like a "z" or like the tremolo markings you have on the strings in the beginning. -@7:00 ish, LOVE this exchange between tutti and section work, super effective use of repetition and change there. -@8:15 ish, beautiful work. You do well when you scale everything back and write with delicacy. Transfer some of that clarity into your tutti ensemble work! -There are a few places where you have melodic notes which clash with the underlying harmony on a stronger beat, not as a passing/neighboring note (i.e. by a minor ninth, etc.). Finding those places is an important editing skill, one for which I admittedly have less patience than I ought haha. Take care to either make the clash/dissonance feel intentional or consider removing it. Again, lots of good things in this work, keep it up! Long comments for a long piece of music...! Gustav Johnson
January 13, 20179 yr Author 6 hours ago, Gustav Johnson said: Hey, cool! I've been digesting this one for a few days and feel comfortable giving some notes now, I think. Really awesome that you can show the effort and control to finish a composition of this length and depth. Starting from the beginning: -The opening three measures didn't feel tied into the piece, kind of like you wanted an introduction but weren't sure what to do. -Throughout the piece, you become less specific about stylistic instructions (especially dynamics)--as a performer, I might be able to interpret your intentions, but would like more of an idea for what you were aiming at. That would also help your electronic playback to sound more live. Also, rehearsal marks, please? :) -@2:30 ish, love the interplay between instruments. very delicately and thoughtfully done, be careful that the tutti entrance at 3:30 ish is smooth--perhaps prepare it with a percussion thing. Same goes for 4:15 when the style changes. -@4:15 ish, cool ideas, especially when you have the call and response between orchestra and guitar. Everything sounds muddy and unclear to me, and I think it's because you have rhythmic and sustained harmony and melodic harmony all in very similar ranges and with similar motion. Imagine the orchestra is a piano--you can have voices crossing and inter-playing, but be aware of when your parts are similar in style, timbre, and range, make sure they don't get in each other's way. Try cutting some out, changing their range, etc., then listen for the difference of clarity. -@5:30 ish, I'm feeling less connection between this section and the sections preceding and following it. It's good music, but feels to me like it belongs in a different piece. When you resume the main them, all is well again. (Around 6:15 I think--it's hard to type and keep up!) Also, Timpani rolls are generally indicated with a roll symbol, looking like a "z" or like the tremolo markings you have on the strings in the beginning. -@7:00 ish, LOVE this exchange between tutti and section work, super effective use of repetition and change there. -@8:15 ish, beautiful work. You do well when you scale everything back and write with delicacy. Transfer some of that clarity into your tutti ensemble work! -There are a few places where you have melodic notes which clash with the underlying harmony on a stronger beat, not as a passing/neighboring note (i.e. by a minor ninth, etc.). Finding those places is an important editing skill, one for which I admittedly have less patience than I ought haha. Take care to either make the clash/dissonance feel intentional or consider removing it. Again, lots of good things in this work, keep it up! Long comments for a long piece of music...! Gustav Johnson Whoa, epic review! Thanks a bunch, mate! I'm gonna frame this review! :D
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