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The opening figure was a kind of weird hemiola around a 3 vs. 4 pattern, substantiated by the bass notes, which I don't think you were really intending on. It sounds like 3 at the beginning so when the violin comes in it's a little jarring. Not too big an issue.
The beginning section with the violin had some very choice notes in it. I can't really see them being wrong notes, since they seem purposefully dissonant, so I'm just wondering what your idea behind that was? I just kind of found it not in the same mood.
Ending on the v chord was a little strange too...
Anyway, it creates a good atmosphere, with some definite expectation breakers. A bit of a mixed bag. :happy:

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