small symphonic miniature in b-moll

My first experiment to express a few of my musical ideas. This composition is in need for some opinion.

Edited September 13, 20178 yr by Dinosaur

I'm just going to speak generally. The arc is shallow with the parts in each section feeling like a sort of polyphony struggling to get out but falling because of the natural chord progression you're following.
It's fine as a collection of ideas, but the coherency falls short. More so important than the melody of the piece is the consideration of how many times you repeat something before changing it, if ever, and why. Step aside from the notes for a bit and look at the overarching phrases and periods and see what really worked and what didn't. The parts will follow that arc determination after.

On 9/15/2017 at 6:31 AM, Monarcheon said:

I'm just going to speak generally. The arc is shallow with the parts in each section feeling like a sort of polyphony struggling to get out but falling because of the natural chord progression you're following.
It's fine as a collection of ideas, but the coherency falls short. More so important than the melody of the piece is the consideration of how many times you repeat something before changing it, if ever, and why. Step aside from the notes for a bit and look at the overarching phrases and periods and see what really worked and what didn't. The parts will follow that arc determination after.

 

Thank you for your time, I really appreciate it.  Special thanks for your style - it is not so common instead of single "you suck" hear what you have to improve :) . 

Sorry, my English is not perfect, but I'm trying to write my  remarks. Memorizable and pleasant melody, but I think, it's too simple. In my opinion you should varied instrumentation and rhithm. You know, not just one two three four one two three four... A little bit monotonous. 

Edited September 17, 20178 yr by OliverKovacs