Title theme music WIP

First time posting in the incomplete section. I had the thought of making a hip hop-type piece with two pianos and two violins for a possible future comic idea (doubling as a character theme). It's about half or a third of the final length of the music, so there are a few concerns before I add new material.

- This is the first time I've tried theme and variation as a form, though I treated the first few instances of the theme as accompaniment/bass; any advice or pitfalls to avoid?

- Any points where the dissonance and chromaticism is either awkward or too much?

- Are there instances of voice crossing that sound muddy?

- This is more audio mixing than composition, but are certain instruments (especially the bass)  unbalanced? The speakers I have aren't the best quality, and my room is too small and untreated for accurate self-judgement of audio playback.

Also, I want to know what others would describe the mood of the track as, and maybe suggestions for possible ways to continue it.