Lack of Cohesion

At the moment I'm stuck between composing intuitively (and rather simply) and composing systematically, with more careful planning and analysis, with the result that many of my compositions seem to be lacking in cohesion and continuity as I am becoming more critical of myself. I'll post a 4 minute beginning to a current orchestral attempt, which on the one hand contains a lot of quite good stuff imo, but on the other hand doesn't really gel together at all. If anybody could, by listening, or generally, identify some specific points or perhaps give me some useful device to help me nurture my muse to maturity that would be helpful.

Thanks.

(Incidentally, I know the harp part is ridiculously unplayable - with this composition I was more interested in getting down exactly what I want ideally rather than worrying about technical concerns, important though they are).

StringsIntro.mid

StringsIntro.sib