April 10, 20205 yr Hello! I'm new to this website, but I can't wait to interact with everyone on here! I have a lot of music I'd love to submit here, and I just thought I would start off with my most recent piece. "Ai-Ai Gaza" is the Japanese word for two lovers, usually young people, walking in the rain under an umbrella. It represents a simple kind of love that I hope not only myself, but everyone will find some day in life. I hope you all enjoy the tenderness and warm love that this piece conveys! :D
April 10, 20205 yr General: phrase ends can use more motion; whole notes drag. m. 14 - IV6 block chord in left hand is unwelcome. I6/4 in a strong position is also strange. m. 18 - parallel dissonances with tonic doubling between RH and violin. m. 24 - P5 -> P4 m. 25 - hard fourth in violin m. 29 into 30, 30 into 31 and 31 into 32- P8's and direct octaves in all voices is a collapsing of harmony in such a way that sounds awkward with different approaches to it. Just P8's would likely work better. m. 32/34 - some hard double stops m. 35 - G's sound awkward in the same pitch register as violin A lot of these types of problems (particularly the ones about double stops) come back a lot from here through the rest of the piece.
April 10, 20205 yr Author Thank you for listening and providing feedback! This will definitely help me when I write my next work with string instruments 😄
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