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TCGCoolio

Waltz No.1 in G-flat major

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Posted (edited)

Hey hey! It's me again, bringing you a waltz! A simple one, I guess. Its almost 8 minutes long and it is filled with joy!

This piece is inspired from the time I was waiting for the rain to stop in front of my school. I didn't realize I was standing in front of a car, so the rain water would fell from the roof to the car then splashed on my uniform. I couldn't go anywhere though, so I was just like standing there for an hour, embracing the rainwater, hmmh.

Anyway, hope you enjoy my piece!

Edited by TCGCoolio
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Whoa!  This is quite thickly orchestrated for the piano!  Sometimes overly much so.  I would say to use the damper pedal less when you're writing for the really low register of the piano.  It sounds really muddy down there - unless of course that is what you intended.  Obviously you know how to write virtuosically for the piano - now I just wish you had picked more unique melodies.  I guess your melodies sound really waltz-y so I guess you intended that.  Also, the thickness of your chords in some places is the most salient feature of your music.  Overall I enjoyed this piece.  Introduction was a little drawn out though.

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8 hours ago, PaperComposer said:

Whoa!  This is quite thickly orchestrated for the piano!  Sometimes overly much so.  I would say to use the damper pedal less when you're writing for the really low register of the piano.  It sounds really muddy down there - unless of course that is what you intended.  Obviously you know how to write virtuosically for the piano - now I just wish you had picked more unique melodies.  I guess your melodies sound really waltz-y so I guess you intended that.  Also, the thickness of your chords in some places is the most salient feature of your music.  Overall I enjoyed this piece.  Introduction was a little drawn out though.

 

The melodies perhaps too simple, but I think I wrote the piece for refreshment, I guess? Sometimes you gotta write something simple, nice sounding, and overly big satisfying resolution. That's why I called it "Weird Rain".

For the beggining, that was my attempt to introduce the theme. Tried to imitate the sound of rain, I guess it's a bit much. The rain here is loud tho.

Definitly will try to use the pedal less in the future. I mean, its rain-themed, lots of pedal will be used.

Thank you for the response!

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Posted (edited)

A very interesting piece indeed! A tad on the long side for a waltz (which I honestly don't mind, since I have listened to Mahler's Ländlers, which are mostly really long). I will not restate PaperComposer's comments (which I believe are all valid). However, there are some things I think you could take a look at; mostly very picky things, nothing too major.

-  The descending sequences (from m.9 and from m.170) take up too much time, to the point that they lose their effect. Parallel fifths work well here though.
-  M.25, fff is too much? Your call.
-  M.142, a very harsh change from the thickness of the texture before.
-  M.160, ff and leggiero? Not sure how that works.
-  M.282, not sure if this is the performer or the music, but I don't really hear a scherzando effect on this particular passage.
-  M.332 3rd beat, harmony doesn't fit. Sounds a little awkward. This happens quite often in your work which causes sudden dissonances that seem out of context.

This is just my (very) humble opinion. It's just some things you could think about, perhaps even change. Ultimately, the work is yours and you can do with it whatever you please. If you have some time, I would be very grateful if you could perhaps take a look at a waltz I wrote as well. It's probably a different style to yours. 

My Piano Waltz in G major

Hope I helped!

Sahil Sidhu

Edited by Sahil Sidhu

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I went on until about 2'55" It went very bass with the sustain pedal stuck down. It was too much at that point. It goes on until bar 144. It starts out well enough if a bit ordinary but as you called it a waltz I was listening to see if someone could dance a waltz to it and am in agreement with PaperComposer - it's too dense and leaden. Needs some rearranging and keeping away from the pedal. There are certainly good bits but by and large it's too dense.

But it's your work. These are just my reflections on what I heard of it. 

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On 7/25/2020 at 5:56 AM, Quinn said:

I went on until about 2'55"

 

That's about where I made it. Not that it's "bad", but more just so overbearing. When you're writing music, always think about what the listener is hearing. They're not going to hear every note and nuance like you will, they haven't listened to it 10,000 times like you have. Your big fff parts will sound much more profound if there are some ppp sections as well. Vary your dynamics. A barrage of pedal down low notes only works for a while. I won't rehash what others have said too much, and don't think that I think your work is bad. It's not. You went to great lengths to portray weird rain, and I definitely think you've achieved that. There's no shame in going for a more experimental approach, especially if your own piano skills lack the proficiency to play your own piano music (I write way harder music than I can perform sometimes 😃) Just take to heart what the others have said, you have great potential!

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