On the

I had a bit of a revelation the other day.

A composer was brought into our school to talk about his music and his ideas on music. He was an israeli composer of considerable fame. His music was a bit of a challenge to listen to but I liked it somewhat. It sounded like it was in the serialist vein. That is to say, sounds could jump register quite sporadically and seemingly at random. That's not to say it was derived from match equations! The piece he played us was for flute and piano and had a very strict ABABC structure that had more to do with his gut instinct then any numbers.

What struck me the most profoundly was not his music but HIM. You could tell that he loved every note. When an expecially exciting passage came up, he would jump up(That is, he would if he weren't already excitedly pacing on the spot) and excitedly mime the musical moment.

HE CARED SO MUCH ABOUT HIS MUSIC.

Why didn't I realize this before? All composers care about their music. Just typing it is a relief. I feel like I'm on a raft made with palm trees with my last shipwrecked comrade half alive in my arms seeing a ship on the horizon and screaming, "WE'RE GOING TO BE OKAY!".

"MUSIC IS SAVED!"

"THEY WERE DOING IT HONESTLY ALL ALONG!"

In case you didn't realize it by now, I was of the assumption that people who wrote challenging music(And I'm taking about Xennakis and beyond in case you were wondering) wrote it to be intellectual bullies. It never occured to me that Mr. Xennakis could be listening to his latest recording with a bunch of his friends(As I have done) and shouted out enthusiastically, "YES! THIS IS THE BEST PART!!!!!".

I always thought that the more abstract styles of music were written to be quietly contemplated with a calculator and a bottle of your local liquor store's saddest gin.

How wrong I was.