BC345 Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 A bitter-sweet (can't think of a good word 😅) violin. Critique and suggestions are much appreciated! MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu pviolin > next 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papageno Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 Wow! Really beautiful!!! I can picture blossom petals scattering in a breeze with an anime character looking solemn. I have no criticisms except I wish it lasted longer with a full orchestra picking up the melody and expanding it. Thank you for sharing! I know ill be coming back to listen to it again... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papageno Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterthePapercomPoser Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 Music with lots of emotional depth and harmonic nuances and complexity! It does bring to mind some beautiful windy landscapes as mentioned above. Sounds like it could use a secondary theme though (at 1:16 would have been a good place for it since you change key). I like what you have however. Sometimes the melody seems to be interrupted but then resumes quite gracefully. Also I like how you don't start on the tonic chord and in many places avoid the resolution to the tonic. Well done! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tónskáld Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 I have to echo the comments above—quite a moving, emotional piece, with beautiful interplay between violin and piano. I noticed a striking resemblance to this theme from Holst's "Jupiter," though: Was this a direct borrowing, or just a coincidence? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC345 Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 16 hours ago, Papageno said: Wow! Really beautiful!!! I can picture blossom petals scattering in a breeze with an anime character looking solemn. I have no criticisms except I wish it lasted longer with a full orchestra picking up the melody and expanding it. Thank you for sharing! I know ill be coming back to listen to it again... Thanks! I do watch Miyazaki movies and such, so there's some anime influence for sure. 🙂 I would like to do a full orchestration, but those are hard, I'm afraid I'll mess it up, haha.  9 hours ago, PaperComposer said: Music with lots of emotional depth and harmonic nuances and complexity! It does bring to mind some beautiful windy landscapes as mentioned above. Sounds like it could use a secondary theme though (at 1:16 would have been a good place for it since you change key). I like what you have however. Sometimes the melody seems to be interrupted but then resumes quite gracefully. Also I like how you don't start on the tonic chord and in many places avoid the resolution to the tonic. Well done! Yeah, I'm still not used to changing themes in a minor key. I'll be sure to practice it more! Thank you for the detailed critique!  5 hours ago, Tónskáld said: I have to echo the comments above—quite a moving, emotional piece, with beautiful interplay between violin and piano. I noticed a striking resemblance to this theme from Holst's "Jupiter," though: Was this a direct borrowing, or just a coincidence? Thanks! I do like that song! I didn't know it was from 1918 though, it sounds modern. As for the melody, it's even simpler. I was outlining the chords in that part. 😅 I think I first learned this method from this 8-bit theory video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVwEeiyPfFg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panta rei Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 This is very nice. Perhaps, the piece could have benefitted from adding a section with a little more variation, away from the main theme, but the piece is by no means monotonic, due to your treatment and interplay of the piano line, which is very good. I particularly like the effective use of your bass notes. Maybe only one thing. I think that you could omit the very last measure. It seems superflous to me. ( But then, this is just me). Excellent work! Could you post a score?  1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC345 Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 4 hours ago, panta rei said: This is very nice. Perhaps, the piece could have benefitted from adding a section with a little more variation, away from the main theme, but the piece is by no means monotonic, due to your treatment and interplay of the piano line, which is very good. I particularly like the effective use of your bass notes. Thanks! Yep, I'll definitely look into variation.  4 hours ago, panta rei said: Maybe only one thing. I think that you could omit the very last measure. It seems superflous to me. ( But then, this is just me). It is optional, but I like that chord for some reason, it's kind of floaty 😄  4 hours ago, panta rei said: Excellent work! Could you post a score?  Sure, I can convert the project into score. Though it will be very, very ugly. I tried my best to make it legible. PDF pviolin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexander Reiger Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 This piece sounds really nice! I must say, though, that the main theme sounds almost identical to the theme from 'Princess Mononoke' by Joe Hisaishi (video below). Maybe you could consider modifying it slightly so it doesn't sound quite so similar? My other comment is that the violin part seems to stop and start quite abruptly several times throughout the piece – perhaps you could consider extending the half notes so there's more of a smooth transition. Apart from that, great work! I liked the abrupt key change and the way you didn't end on a tonic chord – both very bold and refreshing choices!  1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC345 Posted November 13, 2020 Author Share Posted November 13, 2020 18 hours ago, Alexander Reiger said: Apart from that, great work! I liked the abrupt key change and the way you didn't end on a tonic chord – both very bold and refreshing choices! Yay, I'm glad to know at least someone likes that last chord besides me :D 18 hours ago, Alexander Reiger said: My other comment is that the violin part seems to stop and start quite abruptly several times throughout the piece – perhaps you could consider extending the half notes so there's more of a smooth transition. I sometimes like it when the violin stops abruptly. Thank you for the suggestion, though, I'll try to add more gradual transitions next time as well! 18 hours ago, Alexander Reiger said: This piece sounds really nice! I must say, though, that the main theme sounds almost identical to the theme from 'Princess Mononoke' by Joe Hisaishi (video below). Maybe you could consider modifying it slightly so it doesn't sound quite so similar? The rewriting part isn't hard. I just feel like simple melodies like that will always remind someone of some other melody, and it will be an endless cycle of rewriting 🥺 Maybe I'm overthinking. I could change the motif like that, for example: MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu melody > next 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexander Reiger Posted November 13, 2020 Share Posted November 13, 2020 5 hours ago, BC345 said: The rewriting part isn't hard. I just feel like simple melodies like that will always remind someone of some other melody, and it will be an endless cycle of rewriting 🥺 Maybe I'm overthinking. I could change the motif like that, for example: I really like this new melody – I reckon it would sound great in the piece! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC345 Posted November 13, 2020 Author Share Posted November 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Alexander Reiger said: I really like this new melody – I reckon it would sound great in the piece! Thanks for the encouragement, I'll finish it someday I hope 😄 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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