Need some feedback on this (@ 1:38 ish)

I am making a rondo and I am a bit stuck on the C section. I have entered into a nice passage in E Flat Major, transitioning from C minor, in which there are 9-8 suspensions over the bass, before reaching an interrupted cadence (could easily be adapted to a perfect one of course).

Can you please tell me whether closing the passage with either of these options leave more to be desired? Perhaps it may be better to have more versatile harmony and extend the suspension passage work with further modulations. Although I am conflicted as I like how the passage initially invokes a reprise from the more dark material that preceded it.

Edited July 3, 20223 yr by Markus Boyd
wrong audio

Hi Markus.

I had seen your post days ago and hoped someone would have responded because I didn't want to, essentially because the question you are asking is about a choice that I believe you and only you should make. That said, I am responding because I wanted to say that I liked what I heard and what I'm hearing now (as I usually write all my comments here while the music to be commented is being played). By the way:

• When I look at the score I don't see the B and C sections marked the way A is marked. I don't know if the B section starts at M16, but I guess so since there's a discontinued barline there. Overall both A and what I presume it's B or another passage of A are properly written. 

  Now, does C start in M33, or in M40 and M33-40 is the "ritornello"? I assume it's C since it seems to be unfinished. If with your current material C turns out to be more or less as long as the other sections I'd say: don't extend the passage. But what do you want to do? That's the question.

• The whole piece feels peaceful and carefree; I am intrigued, did you manage to finish it or have you advanced more? It'd be nice to see it posted here when finished. Sorry if I've not been of help man, see you in the forums.

Kind regards ^^!

21 hours ago, Omicronrg9 said:

Hi Markus.

I had seen your post days ago and hoped someone would have responded because I didn't want to, essentially because the question you are asking is about a choice that I believe you and only you should make. That said, I am responding because I wanted to say that I liked what I heard and what I'm hearing now (as I usually write all my comments here while the music to be commented is being played). By the way:

• When I look at the score I don't see the B and C sections marked the way A is marked. I don't know if the B section starts at M16, but I guess so since there's a discontinued barline there. Overall both A and what I presume it's B or another passage of A are properly written. 

  Now, does C start in M33, or in M40 and M33-40 is the "ritornello"? I assume it's C since it seems to be unfinished. If with your current material C turns out to be more or less as long as the other sections I'd say: don't extend the passage. But what do you want to do? That's the question.

• The whole piece feels peaceful and carefree; I am intrigued, did you manage to finish it or have you advanced more? It'd be nice to see it posted here when finished. Sorry if I've not been of help man, see you in the forums.

Kind regards ^^!

 

Hey, friend

I have put some ideas down that returns the D section to a minor mode with a circle of 5ths motion towards the dominant of C minor, that should lead nicely back to B Flat Major for the A section. This is just a sketch at the moment; I do intend to enrich the texture a little.

Please forgive the initial A section that I have started to rework somewhat. The structure of that part should be as follows (in line with common practice)

1st Phrase (4 bars): Theme with light texture

2nd Phrase (4 Bars): Response to theme, ending on an imperfect cadence

3rd Phrase (4 Bars): Theme with enlarged texture (all instruments)

4th Phrase (4 Bars): Response with Perfect cadence.

This is turning into quite a complex project and I hope to lead it to a worthy conclusion over the summer. 

Edited July 14, 20223 yr by Markus Boyd

Oh, this now sounds more complex, and quite solider. The rondo structure is now much clearer; of course notation helps but I better recognize the sections without the aid of the score now.

I admire the dedication you are putting to this work and I hope it gets to wherever you want it to go. I personally never have followed any common practice strictly, perhaps I should sometime. 

The C section sounds much more fulfilling and powerful now. Cheer up!!

Kind regards ^^.