Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hi @Samuel1,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for joining us!

I think this is nice descriptive music! I like how you use some impressionistic harmony here like Debussy's La Mer. Your modulation throughout is fascinating but crafty.

The modulation in b.33 is beautiful. B.45 is mysterious with that sudden chromatic harmony and parallel fifths. Maybe adding a p there will be more effective. You should a2 in b.58 for second violin and cello, before having a divisi again.

I like you have a brief return to B major with the original theme before getting further to other sections.

I like the viola melody in b.74. But why do you use a Bartok pizz. inb.77? Is that necessary to pluck the strings harshly there to create some special effect?

The chroamtic spelling in b.90 is quite confusing. The violas and double basses are in flats but others are in sharps while they are enharmonically in the same key I think. The 2nd violin's melody in b.95 can either be Cb-Db-Eb-Db-Cb-Bb-Bb or B-C#-D#-C#-B-A#-A# but not mixing the sharps and flats. You can make the accidentals more clear here. The viola melody in b.102 also, when you are having an Ab major key signature why do you use sharps for the violas while they are enharmonically the same?

That modulation in b.151 is really beautiful as it really pushes the climax. You should definitely add a cresc. hairpin there!

For me you can add more dynamic markings and slurs in the score to represent those waves in the sea!! That will make the recording more real as well. I'm sure many of the passages are in legato playing, so slurs are necessary.

Thanks for sharing! Make sure to check out other members' pieces here and review them!


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...