NicholasG Posted July 15 Share Posted July 15 Hello! I am writing for my high school symphonic band and I am in dire need of feedback because I havent matured enough as a musician. Please do give all that you can! MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu Night in the Jungle > next PDF Night in the Jungle Score Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterthePapercomPoser Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 Hello @NicholasG! For a piece that stays in the same key throughout its entire duration it's not bad! There are lots of really cool features to this piece - I love the Marimba and Vibraphone ostinato you establish at measure 18, and the Timpani part at measure 56. I think the weakest parts of the piece are when all the instruments are playing all at once. The piece is over-orchestrated and bombastic without any substance to its various parts especially in those tutti sections. You could create countermelodies and pass the ostinato you established earlier around to the other instruments in the band. Another weakness is that the cool Timpani part at measure 56 for example doesn't arise organically from any of the previous melodic material, and its rhythms aren't brought back in any other instrument. So there's poor economy and unity in the piece meaning that you just kind of came up with lots of cool ideas and stuck them together even though they don't really belong together and aren't related. Although two unrelated ideas can be made to unify through bringing out their similar features and fashioning transitions between them or literally combining them in a new melody construction. Harmonically there's also no sense of adventure because you stay in the same key throughout the whole piece. It's hard to make a piece of music seem like it's taking you somewhere without literally modulating to a new key center (although of course it's still possible by creating contrast through all the other elements of the music besides harmony - like the way you've done here through melodies, ostinati, dynamics, interesting figurations and instrumental imitation). For me also, the place where you end the piece, on a kind of half cadence, sounds like it's not finished. The piece was only just getting started! A more drawn-out development seems forthcoming, or you could have given the piece a more conclusive ending either through a more final sounding harmony or a more bombastic and jubilant finale. Those are my thoughts on this piece. Overall - still an enjoyable piece of music! Thanks for sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJFOBOE Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 There are many ideas that could be enhanced with better transitions and places to give the listener a chance to anticipate the next idea. Sometimes ... the listener needs to have a moment to breathe to digest the ideas. Mark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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