Dance in D major

Any and all feedback is appreciated, including if there’s a more appropriate title than “dance”.

The performance is automated with the Flat app

Hey there

I really like this! It reminds me of Mario 3 for some reason 😄 I like the catchy ideas with rhythm and melody, but it sounds like this is the start to something rather than being a completed piece. You have cool ideas over the static 5/4, but I think the music was ready to move on harmonically. I would explore your rhythm on the V chord (A) or somewhere else and see where that leads your melody writing. You've also set yourself up with some motivic elements, as your theme could be expanded and tweaked. Great start, I'd love to see where this piece goes if you decide to elaborate your ideas. 

Well done! 

Hello @Alant!

Like @Thatguy v2.0said I like the 5/4 waltz, not very commonly found as in the 2nd mov of Tchaikovsky’s Pathetique. I agree with him too you can develop the piece to a longer one. I love the time signature changes you make after the opening bars! The C natural in b.11 gives a mixolydian feeling which I like as well

Beware of those F naturals, as they should be written as E sharps since they resolve upward as a lower chromatic auxilary to F sharp. Thx for sharing!

Henry

Hi @Alant!

Hi!  For some reason, even though this is not a rag, it reminds me of The Spinach Rag from Final Fantasy VI.  This has a very unique approach to both harmony and rhythm which gives it a very individualized, custom feel that's not found in many others works.  But in it's current form, I think it is more like an experiment/idea rather than a finished piece.  Have you thought of adding a slow section in the middle to create a ternary form?  It would be interesting what kind of fun meters and rhythms you could come up with in a slow, lyrical contrasting section!  Thanks for sharing!

Longer version

On 5/27/2025 at 6:47 PM, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

Hi @Alant!

Hi!  For some reason, even though this is not a rag, it reminds me of The Spinach Rag from Final Fantasy VI.  This has a very unique approach to both harmony and rhythm which gives it a very individualized, custom feel that's not found in many others works.  But in it's current form, I think it is more like an experiment/idea rather than a finished piece.  Have you thought of adding a slow section in the middle to create a ternary form?  It would be interesting what kind of fun meters and rhythms you could come up with in a slow, lyrical contrasting section!  Thanks for sharing!

 

Thanks for the tip! I’m working on a slower segment at the moment

This is about half of a new slower part of the piece. I’m not sure at the moment how to incorporate it in the piece or whether to make a separate movement. 

All feedback is appreciated 

The score is the first 3 pages (ignore the rest).

Some of the notation (like the grace notes) is written with the midi performance in mind and not how I would otherwise write it 

Score presentation: 

Thank you so much for presenting us a score. That goes miles when you want feedback.  It helps us to follow what we are listening.   Yes, indeed, this score does need clean and polish. The first thing is to remove the empty bars.  There is no need to have them there.  Second, you have cleft change, but it is barely visible. You probably want to find want a way edit that.  Also, go through, and check collisions and everything is line up.  Clean up the rests.  Use trills instead of 32nd notes.   Remove legar lines as much as possible! (b87-88 needs to re worked with out legar lines). 

Thus: 

elimate b43-57 and b89 to end.  If I was to score to in a competition, It would be probably get a 4-6 because of these errors.

In Ternary or a minuet and Trio it is one piece not two. Might consider that. 

I do not what I am looking when it comes to form? Sorry. I am lost. 

 I do notice you have second version of your dance. I will look at, too.