Apatite - Short Orchestral/Vocal Sketch (score + audio)

This piece is my first attempt to convert my MIDI sketches into notation. I am still pretty amateur at both composition and notation, so constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated.

This was written for a medium sized orchestra, with particular emphasis on strings, a female soloist, and mallet percussion (glockenspiel, etc). I've been composing as a hobby for a while but this is one of my first attempts at really trying to improve the fine details of a piece and make it playable for real. So what I mainly want to know is how this midi-composed piece does in notation form and what could be made better.

I'm especially looking for feedback on the following:

• Orchestration & Clarity: Are the parts written idiomatically for the players? Is the notation understandable?

• Balance: How is the balance between the main melodies and the background textures?

• Overall Sound: How is it overall? Is it effective, how does it sound, what could be improved?

   

  I have attached a pdf of the score, an mp3 of the original midi file, and a link to a video of the score plus the Musescore audio.

   

  Thank you!

Score + Audio

sup

On 10/25/2025 at 4:47 PM, Burlap Guy said:

Orchestration & Clarity: Are the parts written idiomatically for the players? Is the notation understandable?

The notes are readable, but it's like if I told you "baseball me like" instead of "I like baseball". You're using a DAW, so things like string section 1-4, single piano whole notes, 2 voices in the flutes when you probably didn't mean it, are pretty obvious things that jump out that shouldn't be there. I get what you're trying to do, but that midi seems pretty simple; it might be worth it to type in by hand the notes in musescore or something to better practice. 

On 10/25/2025 at 4:47 PM, Burlap Guy said:

Balance: How is the balance between the main melodies and the background textures?

This seemed like incidental music, like film music, and I didn't really hear much for melodies except the repeated motif like 2 minutes in. I think as it's written it'd work best to depict a scene rather than a stand alone orchestra piece. Maybe that's what you're going for?

On 10/25/2025 at 4:47 PM, Burlap Guy said:

Overall Sound: How is it overall? Is it effective, how does it sound, what could be improved?

Improvements? Thicker textures, your chords are pretty bare. Maybe study up on melody (Mozart and Chopin are some of my favorites for that) to help in that department. Honestly, if you REALLY want to get better, keep writing for piano and small ensembles, the orchestra can wait. Work on simple things, like 2 note counterpoint. You'll learn a lot about harmony, and the more interesting you can make simple music, the better your works of grand scale will be. 

Also, not sure on that ending. Just seemed out of place. 

But, great work nonetheless, and thanks for sharing! Some people like to keep updating the same thread as they work on something, but other times we may hear back from you a few months down the line with the final version of this. Either is fine, just keep up the writing 😄 

On 10/25/2025 at 11:47 PM, Burlap Guy said:

This piece is my first attempt to convert my MIDI sketches into notation. I am still pretty amateur at both composition and notation, so constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated.

This was written for a medium sized orchestra, with particular emphasis on strings, a female soloist, and mallet percussion (glockenspiel, etc). I've been composing as a hobby for a while but this is one of my first attempts at really trying to improve the fine details of a piece and make it playable for real. So what I mainly want to know is how this midi-composed piece does in notation form and what could be made better.

I'm especially looking for feedback on the following:

• Orchestration & Clarity: Are the parts written idiomatically for the players? Is the notation understandable?

• Balance: How is the balance between the main melodies and the background textures?

• Overall Sound: How is it overall? Is it effective, how does it sound, what could be improved?

   

  I have attached a pdf of the score, an mp3 of the original midi file, and a link to a video of the score plus the Musescore audio.

   

  Thank you!

Hi There! Welcome to YC!

Anyways, I can clearly hear from the start of what tone you want it to be like. I favor that part from measures 49-76. It  generally gives a Coda feeling. You might be wondering: @TristanTheTristan, why didn't you just write from bars 49-the end? That is because, you had outlying part at the end for piano solo, which doesn't feel like it was needed. I will be analysing most bars by themselves here.

Interesting, slightly prokofiev-like ideas. Is intended to sound very slightly off-beat by the end?                                                                       
The following is quite a smart idea that plays with syncopation. Nice! (Harp)

No. Rename it to just 'Piano (Right hand)'. It is not grand at all. It barely plays anything at all. It usually plays a note and then rests. Other times it is just playing eighths. You are not using the bass either, so rename Piano (Right Hand). Also notice that you are using the simplest chords possible at most times. I, IV, V, not even using the relative minor which would be VI. I listened through the full 3 minutes and whatever something seconds and I didn't find a hint of other chords. You should study pieces like Fantasie Impromptu by Frederyk Chopin Op. Posth. 66, by NOT LISTEN TO IT AND ENJOY IT, but instead study the chords he has used. Study Gaspard de Le Nuit's Ondine by Maurice Ravel M.55 in the same way.

Apatite is supposed to be glowing-like. This feels too straight-forward. Music isn't like that. In musical composition you use your brain to find ways to describe it. It is just like the technique in lingual-writing: Show don't tell. You are telling. Good composers show. If you tell it, it might be a lie, but if you show it, you couldn't be lying.

Listen, you know what, here is something: on discord I am friends with Meliton Soupelin; you probably know about him. At the start of my composition journey, he has given me great advice. Exactly the following: "Also, if you are at the start of your composition journey, I strongly warn against trying to compose large pieces. Start with small pieces and work your way up with progressively larger pieces only when you are satisfied with the results of the smaller compositions.Your quality of work will substantially increase. I used to compose like you when I was younger. I forced myself into studying my favorite pieces and trying to understand each technique the composers used, and apply them myself. I did not merely pay attention to melody and technique, but also harmony and structure. It was a humbling but very reward experience.That is my only advice. Few people have the bravery to take it. They usually get mad and leave in a huff. But the ones who did follow my advice have made significant improvements as composers." -Meliton Soupelin. 

I took his advice of forcing myself into studing my favourite pieces and composers and their techniques and everything. I studied Polonaise Fantasie for hours. Then, I continued with the next piece, and then the next. As he said, it DOES in fact take much effort, but worth it. I now see, that he was correct all the way, and I am glad I took his advice. Even now I am using this technique, and as a composer I have wrote much better pieces than before.

I wish you listen to my advice. Have a nice compositional life. Remember, Every composer goes through different things. You don't have to take my advice if you don't want to. It is your choice whether you want to regret it or not. Bye.

-TristanTheTristan

03/11/2025

Sorry, Ignore the previous post. It is too messy.

Hi There! Welcome to YC!

Anyways, I can clearly hear from the start of what tone you want it to be like. I favor that part from measures 49-76. It  generally gives a Coda feeling. You might be wondering: @TristanTheTristan, why didn't you just write from bars 49-the end? That is because, you had outlying part at the end for piano solo, which doesn't feel like it was needed. I will be analysing most bars by themselves here.

Interesting, slightly prokofiev-like ideas. Is intended to sound very slightly off-beat by the end?                                                                        The following is quite a smart idea that plays with syncopation. Nice! (Harp)

No. Rename it to just 'Piano (Right hand)'. It is not grand at all. It barely plays anything at all. It usually plays a note and then rests. Other times it is just playing eighths. You are not using the bass either, so rename Piano (Right Hand). Also notice that you are using the simplest chords possible at most times. I, IV, V, not even using the relative minor which would be VI. I listened through the full 3 minutes and whatever something seconds and I didn't find a hint of other chords. You should study pieces like Fantasie Impromptu by Frederyk Chopin Op. Posth. 66, by NOT LISTEN TO IT AND ENJOY IT, but instead study the chords he has used. Study Gaspard de Le Nuit's Ondine by Maurice Ravel M.55 in the same way.

Apatite is supposed to be glowing-like. This feels too straight-forward. Music isn't like that. In musical composition you use your brain to find ways to describe it. It is just like the technique in lingual-writing: Show don't tell. You are telling. Good composers show. If you tell it, it might be a lie, but if you show it, you couldn't be lying.

Listen, you know what, here is something: on discord I am friends with Meliton Soupelin; you probably know about him. At the start of my composition journey, he has given me great advice. Exactly the following: "Also, if you are at the start of your composition journey, I strongly warn against trying to compose large pieces. Start with small pieces and work your way up with progressively larger pieces only when you are satisfied with the results of the smaller compositions.Your quality of work will substantially increase. I used to compose like you when I was younger. I forced myself into studying my favorite pieces and trying to understand each technique the composers used, and apply them myself. I did not merely pay attention to melody and technique, but also harmony and structure. It was a humbling but very reward experience.That is my only advice. Few people have the bravery to take it. They usually get mad and leave in a huff. But the ones who did follow my advice have made significant improvements as composers." -Meliton Soupelin. 

I took his advice of forcing myself into studing my favourite pieces and composers and their techniques and everything. I studied Polonaise Fantasie for hours. Then, I continued with the next piece, and then the next. As he said, it DOES in fact take much effort, but worth it. I now see, that he was correct all the way, and I am glad I took his advice. Even now I am using this technique, and as a composer I have wrote much better pieces than before.

I wish you listen to my advice. Have a nice compositional life. Remember, Every composer goes through different things. You don't have to take my advice if you don't want to. It is your choice whether you want to regret it or not. Bye.

-TristanTheTristan

03/11/2025

Hi Burlaw Guy and welcome to the forums! 

Nice atmosphere you created. Quite simple but it mostly works, soundwise. You don't get into complication, and thus little trouble comes. However, I am not sure of how you recorded this but it's clearly wrong (compared with what the score reads) at many places. It's specially noticeable in the off-rhythm passages that should not be off, and the last section in which you have a piano solo that is everything but equal 8ths!

Score-wise and in regards of other aesthetic and musical aspects I believe @TristanTheTristan and @Thatguy v2.0 have given you some advice that is worth checking in my humble opinion. 

My best advice, if you want to make scores and compose your works yourself for Orchestra, is to first learn how to make them readable, useful for real orchestras or any size, and overall learn about the disposition of these instruments, their characteristics, etc. You won't get to idiomatic writing in the blink of an eye, but you will spot strange stuff in your own scores and maybe in others'! 

For that purpose I must recommend you a book by Samuel Adler called: "The Study of Orchestration".

Examples of strange scoring (for a real orchestra) are:  What strings? Violins, violas...? All of them? 4 scores for all strings? This is ambiguous and apart from that you got violas on a separate staff!

The order in which you present the instruments in a general score also matters. More to some than to some others but a standard order is always advised. 


And just to put some more examples of GOOD writing practices for orchestra and details found on a bit more in-depth analysis of the score:
• You present female voice and choir parts, but then they turn to Vo. and W. What happened?
• The horn can be transposed to F and Bb, normally it's on F as it's the case in your score but knowing things like these and specifying them never hurts!
• Specify the type (and if you want, the number) of instrument playin' in every part. "String section" says very little. "String section" with block chords, says a bit more, but not about the piece, but about the approach used to reach it. Normally, you have 2 violin sections, 1 viola section, 1 cello section and 1 double bass section. Get acquainted with the terms divisi and unison, again not 100% needed but an accumulation of good use of conventions and fine details makes a score shine. I know the image I sent you is pixelated but all things I'm saying are in part there. Really, reading a treatise of orchestration such as the one I suggested will greatly help you in this regard! 

Finally: it is a bit strange that you have almost no brass but the horn. The score overall needs some polishing but it can be read. Beware of overlaps. 


A bit all over the place for a review, I know, but I just intend to not repeat what my colleagues here said and to give you some more stuff to work on. Hope any of this was of help. 

Best regards,
Daniel–Ømicrón.