Matthew 7:12 for String Quartet

This is for a senior assessment task - I am new to the forum and thought that it may be wise to ask for feedback on my composition before I submit it, if possible. It is influenced greatly by Ravel, Salonen and Pärt, and I have aimed to write it in a post-impressionist style. I have written it both for my assessment task, where it will be marked out of 20, and for a school performance as a reflection on the scripture passage Matthew 7:12. I have attempted to include elements of human activity - i.e heartbeats, using the syncopation at the beginning and end, as well as a direction of the players to accompany dynamic shifts with loudness/acceleration of breathing. I would appreciate if anyone has any feedback to give :)

assessment3.pdf

Hello, Emilia, and welcome to the forum!

I must confess; I both love and hate your piece. Post-impressionism is the style of music I personally enjoy consuming and writing, and you have done great justice to that genre with this work. However, as a violist, I feel very overlooked. That you would include the massive and unwieldy contrabass to the exclusion of the strings' darling alto voice is unforgivable.

That's mostly hyperbole, of course. I am offended but I'll get over it. Now for my remarks on your hard work.

First, the heartbeat pizzicato work very well, with the offbeat providing an organic rhythm that reminds me of something living and searching. Excellent voice-leading choice to put it under the violin's melodic line! I also really like that you showed genuine restraint throughout this work. There are large-scale dynamics and fantastic textural arcs here, sure, but you chose to hold back on the "crazy," and the result is a deceptively challenging piece that really showpieces what a... ahem, modified string quartet can do. Furthermore, the form and structure is very sound, with the return to the heartbeat texture being such a lovely touch. It's impressive that you captured the text's emotional essence rather than gave a programmatic rendering... but that's the mark of a true (post-) impressionist.

My critiques are few and quite minor. What struck me almost immediately after listening to the work was how underused the contrabass part is. For the bulk of the piece it holds pedal tones (which is fine in moderation), but there aren't really any passages where it has an independent voice. If you're going to overlook the viola, please consider giving its replacement a more active role in its stead. ;) Also, some of the chromatic melody, like mm. 10-13 and 18-20 in the violin, is expressive, but some of the leaps feel arbitrary rather than intentional. This could be a matter of taste. If it is intended to represent something (searching, perhaps), consider using stronger support in the lower voices to provide context.

Overall, I'd say this is a piece to be proud of. Your concepts are mature, the sound you've created is very much your own, and the connection to the text is genuine. Thanks for sharing (and good luck on the assessment)!

Best,
Jordan

Great job!! I enjoyed listening to your piece, and I don't have much feedback, but I'll start with this : WRITE MORE!! This has the potential to be even better than it is now. I know it's for an assignment, but if you have time, I would consider adding to it.

One thing I noticed is how stagnant most of your parts are for the majority of the piece, your contrabass stays on pedal tones, and your violin 2 and viola stay on double stops pretty much the whole time. Which isn't a bad thing, just something I noticed - they could be more active and have more movement, while still supporting the harmony.

Something else I would add is getting away from the clean breaks between ideas. For example your viola plays repeated notes until m.8 when they switch to another rhythmic idea, maybe there's a way to hint at this before the idea comes in concretely (this may be something you explore if you decide to add to the piece).

Great job & happy composing!!