August 16Aug 16 TampaBay.pdfTampaBay.mp3So.. I am currently working on a second submission for another call for scores (2/2 now. Submitted one for another competition last week). I would appreciate some feedback on the current progress of this score as it is. I'm looking for answers for:Voice leading; have I been effective with creating smooth transitions between the chords, and leading tones into the different sections? If not, where could I improve this?Form; is the form, starting points & destinations easily distinguishable, enjoyable to follow and effective in the narration of the depicted theme?How could I better write for texture, at and beyond the C rehearsal marking?The score is a tribute and homage to the lives lost during the allied offensive in Germany, kicking off on D-Day in June of 1944. You'll see my call-back to Taps, in a variable manner, near the end of my current stopping point. Enjoy listening & reading along, and I look forward to the feedback I may receive :) Edited 16 hours ago16 hr by UncleRed99 Updated files
Wednesday at 12:18 AM3 days Hi @UncleRed99 !I think it's a very nice and sonically pleasing work! The inclusion of Taps in the piece (albeit with liberal artistic license) enriches the message of the piece being a dedication to those who died on D-Day (probably the most gruesome and intense engagement in WWII). I think I could compare you to Brahms in a way, because Brahms in his harmonic structuring of his pieces was so dependent on 3rds and 6ths (something he also had in common with Percy Grainger). Your music on the other hand is very suspension-heavy, constantly creating those major and minor 2nds that rub and resolve pleasantly to major or minor sonorities. I think you should be weary of this however, since this style of writing for brass is very common in the DCI (Drum Corps International) universe and doesn't win you points for originality, creativity or style. Although I would argue that you do have a certain personal style that is recognizable. Thanks for sharing!
Wednesday at 03:41 AM3 days Kyle, i think you've stepped out of your "Comfort-Zone" to explore the rest of the orchestraI see images with this track, that go further than the one "Theme-Category" personally i have to have a picture or film, in front of me , before i can start anything.The orchestra has a lot of different players, playing different instruments.Example : Breakfast - Lunch - Dinner - | " what do want today for your : Breakfast - Lunch - Dinner " ?chips-chips-chips .........................i want the orchestra to play | violins-violins-violins so the rest of the orchestra that doesn't play violins are .......REDUNDANT .......There just sitting there doing Nothing.so its so refreshing to hear you use The rest of the orchestra......be nice to NAME the instruments your using in your productions.
Wednesday at 04:28 AM3 days Author 4 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:Hi @UncleRed99 !I think it's a very nice and sonically pleasing work! The inclusion of Taps in the piece (albeit with liberal artistic license) enriches the message of the piece being a dedication to those who died on D-Day (probably the most gruesome and intense engagement in WWII). I think I could compare you to Brahms in a way, because Brahms in his harmonic structuring of his pieces was so dependent on 3rds and 6ths (something he also had in common with Percy Grainger). Your music on the other hand is very suspension-heavy, constantly creating those major and minor 2nds that rub and resolve pleasantly to major or minor sonorities. I think you should be weary of this however, since this style of writing for brass is very common in the DCI (Drum Corps International) universe and doesn't win you points for originality, creativity or style. Although I would argue that you do have a certain personal style that is recognizable. Thanks for sharing!With that being said, do you think I might have a shot at being the chosen work? 😅 I've only ever submitted work to 2 other calls before. This will make 4 now, once I submit this, after its completion... I'd also like to ask; what about my work makes it recognizable as "oh, yeah that's UncleRed's work, right there"? lol
Wednesday at 04:32 AM3 days 2 minutes ago, UncleRed99 said:With that being said, do you think I might have a shot at being the chosen work? 😅LoL .. I really don't know and can't say. The judges at these things could be much stricter than our community here on Young Composers.3 minutes ago, UncleRed99 said:I'd also like to ask; what about my work makes it recognizable as "oh, yeah that's UncleRed's work, right there"? lolYour rhythms - you have a characteristic way of meandering up and down and you can't resist the inclusion of occasional triplets LoL
Wednesday at 04:50 AM3 days "Meandering Up and down".......................... that made me laugh out loud , or should i say LOL ?
Wednesday at 04:57 AM3 days Kyle , i think it depends on the judges " AGE-GROUP "............... so if there on the very edge of " Checking-Out "then they will "Expect" you to conform to "their " ideal, where as a Younger group of judges will want to be "Refreshed"
Wednesday at 07:47 PM3 days Author 15 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:Your rhythms - you have a characteristic way of meandering up and down and you can't resist the inclusion of occasional triplets LoLI have noticed that I love me a good set of triplets. Breaks from the steady 1-2-3-4, or 1-&-2-&-3-&-4-& rhythms that you get in the common X/4 time signatures, without deviating from the familiarity of it. Can't help myself. xD I also noticed that I tend to use add9 and 2 chords quite often, both in major and minor. with the occasional major 7th sprinkled in for good taste. I'm going to try and compare my scores, one of these days, to find out what my ear does when I'm composing, because I tend to just follow through with writing what feels right, while stopping to make educated inferences on what would be most effective moving forward, before reverting back to letting my ear lead the composition again, while the cycle repeats until the end of the score. I 'spose I have some reflection to do xD
Wednesday at 08:54 PM2 days 1 hour ago, UncleRed99 said:I have noticed that I love me a good set of triplets. Breaks from the steady 1-2-3-4, or 1-&-2-&-3-&-4-& rhythms that you get in the common X/4 time signatures, without deviating from the familiarity of it. Can't help myself. xDI just hope you don't use triplets as a crutch. I think beginning composers often struggle with writing good melodies that don't sound like just noodling up and down in a certain scale/key and introducing triplets or other novel rhythms is a crutch that many use to try and create melodic interest and imo it doesn't really work. Nothing can substitute for a good idea of where a melody is going and having a good form/structure.
17 hours ago17 hr Author On 8/19/2026 at 4:54 PM, PeterthePapercomPoser said:I just hope you don't use triplets as a crutch. I think beginning composers often struggle with writing good melodies that don't sound like just noodling up and down in a certain scale/key and introducing triplets or other novel rhythms is a crutch that many use to try and create melodic interest and imo it doesn't really work. Nothing can substitute for a good idea of where a melody is going and having a good form/structure.Oh, no not at all. I believe I use them well, within good context of the phrasing. If you have a different opinion of it, based on the score I have in this post (Which I am about to update after publishing this reply), I'd be happy to hear it. Any level of feedback is a chance to improve for the future :)
1 hour ago1 hr I like your piece very much, and I think the formatting is the main thing to make sure you get right when submitting. You have the cover page, all your formatting looks good. I think one more thing to get an edge is to add some program notes notes, and performance notes. If you have anything to say, maybe consider putting it on paper.Maybe consider making the your measures per system more consistent? I think sometimes the computer chooses 3 measures per system when its not really appropriate. Your music looks like it can stick with 5 measures every system.m. 87, you have a crescendo leading to a forte, but with a rest in between, maybe go around and make sure nothing like that is happening. If the rest of the orchestra is crescendo-ing to forte, go ahead and write that in all the parts unless you intend otherwise, and specifically write otherwise. Clarity over concise.The rest of what I have to say is lower priority, get your formatting perfect first. One more thing to consider, only if you have time. You put most of the rhythmic interest in the snare drum. One way you could create some interest, would be add some more short rhythms in some other brass parts. Trumpets love fast tonging, maybe find a place for that. I know you play trumpet. what do you like playing that you haven't done?Also percussionists can play more than one instrument. I understand the mood/style you're inspiring strongly evokes the instruments you've chosen, but at least consider if there is some mid piece changes that would maybe strengthen the piece? (Bass drum?)Also consider giving your players some more breaks, especially before solo-like sections. The horn is hard after playing for 10 minutes straight. A couple more 10 second breaks for horns seems in order. Maybe give some trombones a chance. No VST can recreate the absolute beauty of a trombone solo. Trombones have an easy time with vibrato.Also maybe consider a coda with more extensive V-I action, I was surprised when the piece ended.Don't try to do everything I said, I gave you a bunch of stuff, some of which might be totally against your creative idea. I think you have written a wonderful piece that I believe is warranted for a selection, but I think some of the above things are especially important. Consider your jury, if you don't know who they are, its usually 50% conductor, 25% executive director, and 25% players. I think you can have a director convinced with the idea of your piece, (program notes help with that). Your score is very clear. But I think at the moment, the players are going to feel like the piece is tiresome for horns, and lacks time for trombones to shine, and under utilizes the wide range of a state-level symphony percussion section. Trumpets are going to have a great time. Your piece can still be selected, so don't toss this beautiful work, but these are the possible issues catching my eye. Edited 1 hour ago1 hr by Some Guy That writes Music
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