Waltz No.3 in G Minor for Piano

Hello everyone!

I decided to wrap up and record at the piano a short waltz theme that I posted in the "incomplete works" forum recently.
I found the theme quite complete by itself so I ended up adding only a coda (relatively long, so it works also as a second theme in some way).
I also modified some harmonies, inner notes, and decreased the tempo quite a lot (from 120 to around 90) since I think the theme sounds better like that (and the coda would not work at a fast tempo).

The sections are:
m.1~16: A theme (antecedent) ending in HC
m.17~32: A theme (consequent) ending in PC
m.33~49: Coda (based in initial quarter note motive)

I tried to record it in one go (instead of doing several takes and mixing them together) so I also share the video I took.
I was planning to practice it for longer, but the trill is quite hard and I realized that if I want to play it perfectly, I probably need to go back to it in the future after several months.
Also, I played it quite okay every time... until the camera was on, then random mistakes started happening hahaha.
As a result there are some mistakes, particularly in the dynamics, trills, and in the coda, where I rushed too much (on top of that, I accidentally played a wrong note too).
The audio for both the score and live videos are the same.

Thank you and any feedback is more than welcome!

Edited yesterday at 06:32 AM1 day by JorgeDavid

Hello,

What a wonderful waltz.

I listened it to 4-5 times now, and each time at 0:23, or measure 11....the Bnat in your right hand, really clashes with the Bb in the left hand.

In that same measure (11) and in measure 15, you do this thing where you have like a power chord going on....G in LH and G-D in right hand. Sort of feels out of keeping with the lovely sophisticated, I'm in a Cafe in Paris feeling smoking a cigarette reading Camus sort of feeling that you got going on otherwise.

In measure 11, I personally "feel" a Gminor9 chord sort of voiced in a way where it's clustered together. But I realize that that may or may not work with what you have right after (going into the Cmaj). Perhaps, just nixing the Bnat and keeping it Bb. Anyways, that's how the piece sounds to me...just this one place that seems out of place.

Really digging the chord/atmosphere at measure 37.

At measure 40, you play a F# I think that's not in the score? Maybe it was an accident/improvisation, but I like it! Perhaps you could expand on the idea since I believe that this general idea has not come up in the music yet.

@JorgeDavid Well done, that was excellent! The second half is particularly moving. I felt like it really built up the drama and peaked in a very satisfying way. You’ve got a really nice touch, both in the composition and performance.

Here’s my only recommendation: break up the accompaniment rhythm here and there. It will give the piece more character if the accompaniment is just a touch more rhythmically interesting. I’m only talking about rhythm, not the notes themselves. Even a small rhythmic change can have a big impact.

For example:

Instead of boom chuck chuck, boom chuck chuck, boom chuck chuck, boom chuck chuck…

You might try boom chuck chuck, chuck boom chuck, chuck chuck chuck, boom chuck boom (rhythm repeats).

The boom is the bass note and the chuck is the chord. You could keep all your same luxurious bass notes, but just alternate slightly where those bass notes hit. You may even find a configuration that sounds so delightful, you can use it throughout the piece as a motif.

Anyways that’s just a thought. Even if you keep it as is, it’s already lovely! Nice job.