a Snail on a Sail

Hello!

It's good to see you all once more. You see, I've grown quite fond of all this composing malarkey - and after all your positive comments on my last song, I decided to give it another go. This time I thought I'd use my imagination a bit, and I wrote it from a human perspective! :) (not that there is anything wrong with being a human!!)

The idea for this song is actually based on a true story - a terrible misfortune for two distant cousins of mine, whom accidently trailed onto a fishing boat. It was such a beautiful story, a story about the love of one boy, a boy named Mickey; and the love that he attached to my dear cousin. In fact, it inspired me to sing! (oh dear I hear you all moan...) It is a bit of a sadder song than my previous attempt. Perhaps this may come as an upset to you.

I'd appreciate any constructive criticism you have on the piece - I'm only a snail you see. How did you find the structure? Was there enough material? Did the ending suffice? Was the mixing okay?! I fear I might be worrying a tad too excessively. Thanks very much in advance for your troubles.

Putfile - mickey and the snail

Putfile - Mickey And The Snail 2nd Attempt!!!!!

(I hope you can hear the lyrics okay - I haven't written them down this time!!) (Contrarily, you may find the lyrics a bit further down this page.)

Yours truly,

*slimey signature*

Blenching Snail

P.S. please refrain from salting, I am getting terribly sore; my hospital bill has increased threefold....

I love this! I love how there's so much distortion/wind

P.S. please refrain from salting, I am getting terribly sore; my hospital bill has increased threefold....

yes, the snail has a sense of hunour! salt him i shall not

Lyrics would be awesome if you could type them out.

*salts*

- Duffstuff

Don't be so mean... be nice to the snail.

Anyway, yes, I will post a review once the lyrics are provided.

Lyrics don't really match with the music, the voice is horrible, the drums come from nowhere, I guess the lyrics are somewhat stupid (from what I'm able to hear), but it's cool.

*grass*

I have taken the time to transcribe the lyrics. My tentacles are wearing weak!

I always thought that snails were welcome

But then I saw one crying

Its friend had been thrown into the ocean

That's when I was sad

I don't want to be a blenching snail

I just want to learn to read the night sky's braille

I don't want to be a human being

I just want to be... a blenching snail!

In case you were wondering, the dialogue you hear at one point is as follows:

Father: Mickey, reel in the net! We've got money m' boy!

Mickey: Father, the snail, he's stranded on that rock!

Father: We've no time for you and your mollusc friends young boy!

Mickey: But Dad, the snail...

Father: MICKEY! THERE'S WORLD FAME IN THIS CATCH FOR US!!

Mickey: I DON'T CARE!! I'M SAVING THAT SNAIL!!! *sploosh*

Thanks for listening once again!

*slimey signature*

Blenching Snail

Greetings,

Yet another truely inspired song! Adore the lyrics "learn to read the night time braille" Have to say the mixing was absolutely rubbish, I know being a snail might impede your ability to move sliders on a (digital/analogue) mixing desk but really? Is it that difficult to quieten the drums a little? Or even remove them completely?

I think you have a wonderful style. Out of curiousity did you sing all of it as I suspect due to your range that you are like the other snails and infact a hermaphrodite? Unfortunately due to the drums I feel that I cannot dig up one of my prized cabbages for you, however, please do not be offended, they are, as you well know, very scrumptious and worth a little more then your special slime, dragon quest sponsored as it may be!

Chris

Your song has some interesting chord progressions and the sung melody in parts was even "sweet" but I hated the mixing. The drums were very loud and intrusive. Couldn't you have used something different? It's also too long without much variation. Maybe add more instruments and ones that do things other than chords or once-off melodies. Maybe a solo of some kind if you like that idea. After the dialogue part I was pretty much sick of the song. But, as I said, there are some pleasant-sounding elements that would've been good if the mixing was right.

The idea is creative and so is everything about you and all your posts. I have to say I approve. However, the lyrics are really quite stupid. For example in the "chorus" you sang "I don't want to be a blenching snail..... blah blah... I just want to be a blenching snail." I know it's meant to be funny but it's not. But everything else about you is hilarious so I can forgive you. :blush:

Keep writing music because I love to hear it!

:blush: it seems like my snaily ears must have been full of slime when I mixed my little song. I had hired a rather excited drummer, by the nickname "Cockroach-Thunder" and he insisted that his drums be very thunderous! This made me quite upset and I started to blench. However, I will go back to edit the song without his approval this time, and turn down the drums. I was slightly sad, Fourthage, that you had decided not to attach one of your delicious prized cabbages but nonetheless am in full understanding. I thank you, in fact. And yes being a hermaphrodite comes in terribly handy when singing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, the lyrics are really quite stupid. For example in the "chorus" you sang "I don't want to be a blenching snail..... blah blah... I just want to be a blenching snail." I know it's meant to be funny but it's not.

Dear Dangles,

Thank you for your long critique - it was highly appreciated! I shall take your suggestions about more musical material because I had troubling thoughts about this also. I'm glad someone agrees with my snaily brain!! I see you were interested in my strange, contradictory lyrics. As a matter of fact, the lyrics are not meant to be funny but are of deep meaning to Mickey, the charming little boy whom at first decides not to be a blenching snail because he sees that his Dad throws them off his fishing boat. However, he then decides that he in fact does want to be thrown off his fishing boat because he doesn't want to be a human being disgrace, like his father (sorry Father!!!). It is also a metaphor for "hiding away" from the world. It was unfortunate that this meaning was misconveyed due to the apparent surrealism in my presenting.

Apologies are thus in order on my behalf.

Yours truly, faithfully & sincerely,

*slimey signature*

Blenching Snail

I must say this is a song I would expect to come from you. It's very happy, obscure, and snaily. It has a lot of character and the melody is nice. I kind of like it.

Keep it up.

:Apologies are thus in order on my behalf.

Oh I can't stay mad at you... :D

Firstly I must say a thank you to my dear friend Reth for his charming commentary. Thank you, Reth!

In the addressing of Dangles; I am more than pleased that you have chosen not to stay mad at me. In fact I am ecstatic! I was thinking, in the midst of re-mixing my song for another go, that perhaps the lyrics are a bit too confusing after all.

How about "I just want to be... a human snail" ?!!?!!?!?!!?!!!

Or maybe, "I just want to be... a very large whale" of course, this one is a joke and I trust you will understand my snaily humour!

If anybody has a comment about this 'lyric in jeopardy', please do not hesitate to put forward a suggestion. It doesn't have to rhyme - just something that you think will be fitting.

Henceforth, I shall see you all soon.

*slimey signature*

Blenching Snail

I have re-mixed the mixing (hopefully "Cockroach-Thunder" will not be listening!!!) and added in some extra bits and bobs to my little song, 'lyric in jeopardy' still in place - although it may stay there now as I feel its 'jeopardisation' is not grave. But if you do have a suggestion, by all means, exhale thy lungs w/voice accompaniment!

I have placed the new version in my original post...

Yours thankfully,

*a very long trail of slime leading to a sandwich*

Blenching Snail