Hey Giacomo @Giacomo925,
Thx so much for sharing your detailed and very acute response!
I have the same opinion. As the composer for finishing both movements, I feel like the joy in the 1st movement unearned and ungrounded, so that may sound sinister. It’s the naive version of myself who never suffers pain at all so I was naively having positive feelings then.
Wow this description is so good! In the Lamentoso, I wanna have myself realised the tragedies in the world happening right now, wars and pandemic, so there’s only room for cruelty but no room for joy or ideals, even though I try to bring it back at the end starting from 9:00 or so. In my original thought I think the fugue is when I objectively evaluate my own emotion, but your view is maybe more accurate than mine!
Yup, I was trying to find my inner rhythm of life both in the music and in my personal life. Also, realising your pain is the best way to dissolve it, you can never heal yourself if you never admit yourself that you are in pain and need help. Only by noticing pain, ideals are possible, and that would be a real ideal, not a naive one as in the 1st movement.
Haha thx! In fact I think of nothing east and west when composing, I just write what the music would have needed. I am quite Chinese since I am quite practical right? But I do believe all those “contradictions” are meaningless, because humanity is the same for all people from all countries and cultures. The ending is really mixed with joy and sadness, maybe like the ending of the best Chinese novel Dream of the Red Chamber.
Thank you!
Henry