My very first solo-piano song, would love some feedback

Hi everyone!

It's my first post here, hope it's going to be a pleasant stay. :blink: Anyway, I wrote a little song and I would love some feedback on it. Don't feel the need to hold back, if anything sounds plain disgusting feel free to shout it out.

Grab an MP3 here.

If you have difficulty using the soundclick player or want to download the song without registring:

http://getfile.biz/17253

The sibelius score is added as an attachment and the score as image files can be downloaded here:

http://getfile.biz/17258

It basically starts with the theme, which gets repeated with some minor decorations added. Then the entire thing gets repeated in retrograde with minor changes to make it fit better. The entire song till here gets repeated again, including the retrograde part, but modulates to a different key after which it returns to the original theme and ends. Hope you like it, and if not feel free to tell my why. :blink:

ps. I've been playing piano for a year. The recording is done using soundfonts and it NOT performed by me. Will play it myself once I get the recording setup arranged.

Liedje_over_liefde__of_het_gebrek_daaraan___of_lvl_.sib

I don't often comment but I feel it's necessary here. Before you get the wrong idea, I loved your piece; I'm just here to tell you exactly why.

Musically speaking, it's relatively simple. What attracts me to it is that it's very open and free. You've captured something in this song; an emotion, a subtle, expressive emotion. I admire that because you are one of the few people on this forum whom I can compliment for that.

I am eagerly awaiting to hear a recorded version of this piece, I think it would bring out the feeling that I mentioned. In the meantime, I appear to be the first reply so allow me to extend a warm welcome to YC and I hope you find it a pleasant stay; most of us only bite if provoked or taunted with food.

Keep up the good work and feel free to contact me outside the forum through MSN! :blink:

up until 1:24, this is probably the best piece i've heard on here so far (probably because you took the time to make a real mp3). I'm the kind of person that only makes suggestions one at a time, because I am so confident in my suggestions (lol), that I like to hear the piece again after the suggestion is accepted before making another! (I also like it when people do the same for my pieces, since most of the time I accept their suggestions and change my piece according to them as well)

So, my one and only suggestion, is to not have the broken accompaniment come in in the left hand at 1:24. You have something good in the first minute and a half, and I think you should use this point at 1:24 to make a totally or mostly different B section. Don't you agree?

why do i continue to comment?

Excellent question, if you've nothing to say, don't. Or rather do. Since it's nothing. But principly, refrain from saying if you've nothing to say. And if perchance "nothing" is what you wish to say, then you must first preface it somewhat. Like so:

I have only one thing to say: nothing.

The period and boldness is entirely optional, simply adds some emphasis to the "nothing," which in itself tends to lack emphasis.

My point, which is difficult to convey given my odd mood, is that we just saw an example of a useless comment, much like this one. This one's excuse is to explain the previous one and hopefully prevent others of its kind from emerging.

there are no more classicists out there.

So, the point you raised is a good one, but the place you raised it is perhaps not. Here ends my hypocritical explanation of why useless posting is bad. Tune in next time when someone will explain why explaining why useless posting is bad...is bad.

Can you post a MIDI of this? Or will someone convert it for me?

No problem Nico - laughing is healthy. Unlike pointless posting *points to explanation post*

I would make a MIDI but I need the MUS.

]\/[4: Thanks for the comments, and the welcome. Got some problems with my ISP but once that's settled I'll add you on MSN. One cannot know enough musicians, right? :)

kcoul058: Yeah, the left hand is a bit annoying there. I'm still considering what to do there, I was thinking about changing left hand, keeping right hand as is until the modulated retrograde and then add a new theme. How about that?

Nico: That's ok; it takes a bit of time to learn to appreciate music outside one's favourite style. But you're young, don't worry about it. :)

johannhowitzer: Consider it done.

Liedje_over_liefde__of_het_gebrek_daaraan___of_lvl_.mid

This piece definately has a mood. It sounds slightly melancholic and reminiscent. (Ah, I see; after writing this, I notice that the MP3's titled "Song about love (or lack thereof)" :) )

I would have loved to hear pedaling used where the left hand plays successive arpeggios in section B (like around 1:11 in the MIDI, 1:25 in the MP3). But that's just my take. It also sounds relatively easy to play. Also good use of dynamics. Good Work.

Tweak: You can leave the 'relatively' part out, this should be very easy for any decent piano player, which I am not. But I'm trying and I will record as soon as I get my weighted master keybord in. In the meantime I wouldn't mind at all (understatement) if someone would take a shot at it. As for pedaling, that hasn't been programmed in at all, I find I usually come up with that when I actually play it myself. Or in other words: yeah, it could definitely use some pedaling. ;)

I'm impressed. For a first composition, this is already showing promise and good insight. In fact, besides obviously being a rather simple melody and accompaniment, I wouldn't say anything critique-wise except this: it lacks direction. What you've got is pretty and your left-hand is thoughtful and varied somewhat, but it doesn't drive anywhere, the melody seems improvised rather than thematic.

Keep cranking away, just like the rest of us! Post any future works, I'll try to keep an eye out (and PM me if I miss one you'd like an opinion on)!