violin sonata no 1

I spent 3 months to finished this violin sonata, and this music is inspire by Schubert

But this work have plenty weakness points, for example, some bars are repeated too much , however , I am trying to improve this excess repeating problem , beside this problem , I find that this music is very childish still , so that is the mainly unforgiving weakness of all kind

And the dynamic are very rough and lack of smoothness because I am very unfamiliar to finale 2006 still

Any comment will help me a lot for me

Thank

Dark

violin sonata no 1 allergo fine 2.MID

Finale 2006 - [violin sonata no 1 allergo fine 2.pdf

I can't say anything more detailed right now, but I liked it. Though some parts are a little repetitive, I think it's pretty OK. I liked the harmony you use, too.

I liked most of the themes you had in the piece. I did think it was a little repetitive, perhaps shortening it would help fix that. I did enjoy the piece, although Finale serves no justice to dynamic markings. I especially liked the ending, and thought that you put alot of time into the piano chords, which ended up sounding good.

Nice job, keep it up. I can't wait to see what else you can do :)

~Jon~

From the very start, this piece had an air of urgency, which at times was frightening. The use of material was good in that I new exactly what the theme was and how it was developed. Not only that, but the piano and violin parts interact VERY nicely with each other.

In my opinion, the repetitiveness helped the mood of the piece because it builds up HUMONGOUS tension. The B theme of the sonata was impeccable too. Very tranquil, but the original feeling remained slightly.

I think that the repeated chords in the bass could be changed to, I dunno... Alberti bass maybe. It's a bit tedious to have to play so many repeated chords.

All that said, I don't really see this as a sonata. It's more like a ternary form because you don't really *develop* the themes. You have them, but there isn't elaboration, punctualization, or augmentation or diminuition which are developmentary tactics.

Overall, it was brilliant to listen to, but I wouldn't call it a sonata.

Good job :D

thank for listen mael and jon and also ssc

i will create the symphony and the mulan piano concerto

hope you will soon can be their first audience

dark-promise

I like the melody you got going on in the violiin part.

I also liked how you had the piano and violin work together throughout the piece- that could of probably been worded better...

My favorite part of the piece was from 74-140.

The use of dynamics during those parts were very good I thought.

140- the end, I enjoyed as well.

As someone mentioned before I think, the repeativeness of the piece brings it out.

A very good piece this is.

thx for sax , these good comments are not belong to me , they should belong to Schubert

he inspired me to compose that work

dark-thx

Be warned, I'm picky. Don't take offense to it. Unless you want to - that's your perogative. :happy:

Measure 8. what is the 4/4 bar for? It doesn't seem to be serving any purpose - you should use a 2/4 measure and be consistent.

Measure 1 and 9 (and other places). you can't do a forte-piano on a pianoforte. =P If it was a bunch of notes, yes, the first could be loud, and the rest soft, but it doesn't make sense to put a fp on a single note or chord on the piano because you can't alter the dynamic of a sustained note on the piano without using extended techniques, which are certainly not appropriate here.

Measure 18. keep dynamics (p marking) in line vertically with hairpins (crescendo)

Measure 21. left hand chords are voiced very closely. Do they really need to be THAT loud? Consider simply using accent marks, such as the triangle looking one. This will come off as very thick and muddy in the lower register of the piano. When you're in the low end, you need to space chords out (think of the harmonic series, the higher you go, the closer things get to each other) Is this the effect you really want? Think twice.

Measure 22. just some enharmonic issues. Use a G# instead of Ab in the last beat of the right hand. Do the same thing in violin measures 24, 25, and the next few as well. It's a pain to alternate A Ab A nat. Ab A nat. Ab A nat. because of all the accidentals. A G# A G# is much easier to read.

Measure 42. this is not exactly the answer to life, the universe... and... nevermind. I like how you clearly went to the dominant here - you understand common practice in that effect. However, same issue as before, this is really low and muddy in the left hand. Yuck.

Measures 53 - 73. Well, that isn't very interesting - used the exact same notes and chords for ... *counts* 12 measures. Okay, that pattern is fine, it's a D diminished chord with a D major on top, but for God sakes do something with it. Play with it. Use it as different chords, like move it to base G instead, or something. Give it direction, not just repetition.

Measures 74 et al. Remember what I said about harmonic series? You voice the notes of the chord in the right hand, you really don't necessarily need to reinforce middle tones in the lower left hand. You could remove half these notes, the one or two notes BETWEEN the highest and lowest notes of each chord in the left hand without sacrificing much. This creates a less muddy, less pudgy texture, and opens the sound up for the ear. Your bass should reinforce notes you feel are important to establish in the chord, not just be every note in the chord, I think. Of course, the choice is ultimately up to you.

Measures 78 and others. You do know that's impossible, right? Right hand can't cover an eleventh, let alone while playing the rest of that chord. As Al Pacino would say, forgit aboud it.

109 and on. I'd break those beams if I were in your shoes. In speedy edit, use the / key on the NumPad to beam/break notes. I think it looks cleaner broken. Also, your dynamics are colliding with other elements. Very unprofessional. You need to try and cover all bases if you can. And dynamics for the piano need only be applied between the staves, not below both piano staves. Right click the offending dynamics, go to assignment options or whatever it says, and select "only this staff" or whatever, and move it smack dab between the staves. What's with the FF and p markings in the same measure? that FF marking is just kinda wandering off the page like a lost kitten. A loud kitten. and is that really a major 7th in the left hand at measure 110? that low in the bass? Honestly - yuck.

Wow, that last page looks like a mess. Score editing gone wrong. So just clean the score up and make it pretty. Dust it. As far as the music - think more about development and less about repetition of ideas. Also look at playability in the piano part. There are some stupid and obvious mistakes, as well as many things that could be improved upon. As per the violin writing - use more bowing. You have a lot of d

i think it is my honor to have your advice

thank u

enigmus

dark @@