ice

Hello, I'm just a wee newbie here. My name is Jason Charney, 18 years old, from Overland Park, KS. I'm currently studying composition with James Barnes at the University of Kansas. I'm new to the forum and thought I'd share a recently completed piece with you for some feedback. This is "ice" for glockenspiel, two marimbas, vibraphone, xylophone, and bass guitar. In this piece, I tried to use melodic cells and a bit of polyrhythmic stuff...I had no concept when I started it, it was just kind of an experiment.

I've been lurking around the YC forum lately and I really like it! Lots of good composers, information, and lots to learn. Hopefully I'll be getting to know you better.

Let me know what you think!

ice.mid

ice.pdf

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

I would like to comment on the piece and the score.

I liked how you stayed to a single idea and developed it over the course of the piece. However, I wish you had utilized more harmonic color in this piece, since it only uses the aeolian scale on A throughout the length of the piece. My ear wanted some new notes after a while. In minimalist music, interest can be sustained by other methods besides harmony (which can often be static). Here, you have used rhythm to create interest - but the rhythms were not interesting enough by themselves to allow the use of a static harmony as you have done here.

In future pieces, if you wish to employ a static harmony (as you have done here) for an extended length of time, you will have to be even more creative and inventive with your use of rhythms and textures. A good example of a piece in this vein which maintains interest throughout is Steve Reich's Nagoya Marimbas which you should check out if you haven't heard it. A piece which uses texture to create interest from a static harmony is Arvo Part's Fur Alina, for solo piano.

Dynamics can be a wonderful tool. You have only utilized a small amount of what is possible with dynamics. This piece could be more interesting if you played around with dynamics and crescendos and diminuendos - this creates a variety of textures and adds nuance to your piece (and makes it easier for listeners to discern the form, and sections of the piece.) Right now, the score looks a bit empty, containing mostly just notes and some accents. You should work to make the score itself visually appealing, alive as much as the music. Using more dynamics, hairpins, articulations, and phrase markings can do this.

It shows much promise however! Keep writing and I will expect great music from you someday!

Thanks for the feedback! Yeah, Steve Reich was a huge influence on that one, particularly Nagoya Marimbas. I like Part, but I haven't heard that piece. Thanks for the suggestions about phrasing and dynamics, that's something I know I need to work on in all my compositions.

:)

Very cool theme! I really enjoyed listening to this but I think it would become a greater peice if you developed it further and introduced other instrumets, like violins or flute for example. I look forward to your next post :)

I agree with the previous comments and think also that it is a nice and sensitive piece of writing in many ways...the parts always compliment each other..never conflicting with each other (though sometimes you may want to explore ways in which they can conflict) but one thing I would think about is how the energy flows through the piece...I think if you constructed a new part for the piece that was higher energy than anything you have written in the piece so far and a part that is lower energy than anything on the score now and explored with the textures in the material, possibly reconstructing the form to be more sensitive of what is a logical sense of energy for the piece, the piece may retain interest..Although it is a typical example of minimalism, "In C" by Terry Riley kind of acts as a good example..if you havent heard it, it is a set of like 50 short melodic fragments to be looped by each player. A set of octave C's are played on the piano or mallet instrument throughout and they parts just continually layer and layer. Now, this is an extreme example because the piece typically lasts around an hour...though the actual time is totally up to the performers...but if you take that idea of energy and motion and translate it to your piece you may be able to get the idea of more of a transe like state that still always pushes forward..Hope this has been helpful and made sense..

Ben

It's not bad by any means, but I was kind of bored.

THe fingered bass (guitar?) is a bit too harsh for this, i feel a bowed cello could work better there.

Plus what's been said: harmonic or rhythmic changeups would move the piece.

Are you familiar with Gong Gamelan?

Thanks for the comments, yes, "In C" is definitely a minimalist piece that influences me. I gave it another listen today per your suggestion, benxlwf, and I can definitely hear what you're talkingg about with increased energy and motion...I will consider it when I make some revisions.

Ferkungamabooboo, actually, I hadn't even considered cello there, but it is an interesting suggestion. As harsh as the electric bass might be, a cello's tone would be probably a little warm for what I want to be an extremely austere piece. I'd definitely try it though! And I've heard a little Javanese gamelan before, but I'm not too familiar with it...

Thanks for all the feedback, everyone!

Hey, I enjoyed your use of minimalistic elements and rhythm in the piece. You seem to have a very good grasp of rhythmic counterpoint and ostinato technique! I really like how the different parts played off of each other.

Particularly near the end of the piece (measure 92 comes to mind), your 16ths are beamed a little strangely. Normally, they should be grouped in 4s, rather than in 2s with just one beam to connect the groups. It sounds the same but is a bit more performer-friendly. At measure 63, also, the beaming is a litle inconsistent (you have the 1st Marimba grouped in 2s, but the Xylophone grouped in 4s).

The rhythm at measure 58 in the Marimba parts is written in a bit of a quirky way and might not be easy to read. Re-notate it maybe?

Just my thoughts. I really enjoyed the piece overall!