Intentional Homelessness

well, im new to the forum, but i hate those "introduce yourself to everyone in 10 words or less" threads, so i figure ill make a proper introduction through music.

WAV

Intentional Homelessness

MP3

Intentional Homelessness

i just joined the forum because i would really like to get feedback from other people active in composition themselves. ive received lots of feedback from non-composers, but it lacks specificity, and its almost always all positive (whether it be not to hurt my feelings or simply because of lack of musical experience) but i really want some proper constructive criticism so that i can improve.

the only caveat is that this piece was not written as a film score but it was the feel i was going for, ill post this in electronic/experimental as well because it was all done digitally in Logic

WElcome to YC! YC is a community for composers, and music here is always criticized constructively....most of the time.

I like it a lot. It is better than anything I can compose.

I know you're in writers block, one thing to over come that is to use prev. music in new music, like combine and mix to make a new piece.

this piece

sounds like something for an action movie, I actually like it.

like people are spying.

Something to improve........

I dont know. Try posting a score. :) or midi.

I have noting bad to say about it besides, Nice job.

well, one thing..its too long, you need to come up with a variation or something, it did kind of get boring towards the end, but like I said, its better than anything I can compose.

Welcome to YC

I like the piece.

It always helps if you comment on some of the music here. Some of the people here will return the favor while others will completely ignore you. Such is the way of YC.

A few of us do try to help each other out instead of just seeking out comments from others.

A score always helps here as well.

Nice piece

Ron

A General Perspective

I imagine a mysterious man walking through the slums and alleyways of a dimly lit downtown district. He has no set destination; his only goal is to get somewhere--away from the life he once knew. It feels, to me, like a soul search.

The rainfall at the beginning... The gradual entrance of instruments... This all feels like the city is being approached.

The rest of the piece is the man travelling though the city and what he finds along the way. The same music is used throughout in variation, so it's like seeing what makes the city tick. While the harmonic pallette is thin, it has a distinctive pop-rock sound that lends itself to urbanity.

In the end the rich texture provided by the instruments stops all at once, leaving only the solo harp from the beginning of the piece. This is coming full-circle--perhaps the man realizing that leaving what he once knew was a mistake? After seeing the inner workings of the city, this is certainly possible. It can be a pretty scary place.

Suggestions and Advice

The theme and variations style of composition is very effective, but having it prolong for the entire piece without any truly decisive change makes it a little tedious. While I can picture the man seeing a variety of different things along the way (one picture that came to mind was a jazz club at about [2:18] with the bass solo), every picture is fairly static.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you more often than not make your variations on the theme via instrumentation--not enough on the music itself. The man can explore many new places (like uptown! :P) if you were to tinker around with the soundscape a bit with embellishments, minor changes in harmony, etc. Introducing an entirely new theme, for example, would certainly add a healthy dose of drama to the proceedings. After all, no journey is complete without bumps in the road.

Final Thoughts

Overall, this has lots of potential. It's already incredibly effective as is, but there's quite a bit waiting to happen. Keep up the good work!

I remember you saying the other day on the YC Chat that you were slightly embarrassed by the poppy feel of the song. To that I say, don't be. Pop music can be just as effective as "Classical" music as long as you use your resources well.

I thought this was very nice, it has a calming feel to it. I do agree with Dustin in that some variation would make this piece better; at least a change in key would help. I also think that this would work great in a video game as well as in a movie.

thank you so much everyone for posting your very detailed comments, i really do appreciate it, this is exactly what i need to help me improve

as for posting in other's threads, i am doing that little by little. i have no problem sounding off about my opinions when i can formulate them coherently, but my compositional critique in general is a bit novice (though i could endlessly talk about performance quality/technique and my thoughts on art in general) so dont expect anything groundbreaking until i have a bit more experience with the writing end of things. (i will definitely post my comments though)

I could easily see this in some sort of video or animation. It sounds solid and the instruments all seem to produce a color which works. The explosion of sound which proceeds after the silence around 3:52 is awesome.

However, I find some of the notes on the harp that seem somewhat out of place (Around 2:45 and 2:58), but that's just me being ridiculously nit-picky.

Very enjoyable listen, thanks for sharing.

Just want to say I really enjoyed this piece. I especially liked the percussion parts intermingled with the cymbal sounds and other little noises. It really is beautiful.