The Rainy Day

Hi all,

This piece was in the incomplete section for a while but i've 'finished' it now, although I expect I will end up changing a lot of things before it's truly finished.

This is a composition which I have writen for my music A-level, and we have to set a given text to music. The text is a poem called The Rainy Day by Henry Wadsworth Longefellow, and it's extremely depressing, although the last stanza has a moment of relief!

I have tried to write it in quite a 'modern' style, so there is lots of interesting harmonies with added seconds, fourths, sevenths, etc. I also tried to write it in a style similar to that of Eric Whitacre, although I'm not too sure if it turned out that way in the end.

I have posted the words to the poem below, and the pdf, midi, and sibelius files. I would be extremely grateful for any feedback, be it positive or negative (or worse!).

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;

It rains, and the wind is never weary;

The vine still clings to the moldering wall,

But at every gust the dead leaves fall,

And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;

It rains, and the wind is never weary;

My thoughts still cling to the moldering Past,

But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast

And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;

Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;

Thy fate is the common fate of all,

Into each life some rain must fall,

Some days must be dark and dreary.

The Rainy Day 2.pdf

The Rainy Day 2.mid

The Rainy Day 2.sib

Okay, here goes. Bunch of random thoughts in no particular order:

I personally don't understand going from 4/4 to 2/4 to 4/4 to 2/4; maybe it's just me, but it seems as if you'd end up in the same place if you just stayed in 4/4 the whole time. But that's just me. I would say, if you've got a specific intention there, you could make it clearer with some articulations.

You're missing at least one slur (28).

This is my personal preference in choral music, but: your writing is very blocky. The rhythm is uniform throughout the parts for almost the entire piece. Don't get me wrong the chords are gorgeous, but contrasting lines can make your piece more exciting and give it more of a sense of motion, plus, you can use rhythmic unison to much greater effect, because it will stand apart from the rest of the piece (it's good for creating either stillness or forcefulness).

I really like the "Brighter than before" section, but I think there's a more dramatic way to lead into it. It's becoming obvious that I'm a big fan of contrast, but: I think it'd be really neat if, instead of having a rest and coming in on a totally different color like that, you moved into this new bright color from the old music. And of course, crescendoing and speeding up from crazy slow dissonance into bright fuzzy major chords feels like the sun bursting through clouds. (Also, being nitpicky, your layout gets a little ugly at that spot, words running into each other, stuff like that.)

I have problems with the way you've hyphenated "every." For two notes it should be "ev-'ry"; for three it's "ev-er-y"; you've got neither.

Your very ending looks to be very nice, except that it could potentially be abrupt when the altos and when the men enter. Consider having the altos sing along with the sop melody until they get to their split, instead of just coming in on the E. Consider ways to bring the men in more subtly if y'want, but they're fine as is.

Okay, a lot of that was me nitpicking. It was hard to make out through the muddle of midi playback the first time I listened to this, but this is rather good, and it will really come to life in live performance. Please let me know if you ever get this read!

Hey maianess, thanks so much for the comment, I greatly appreciate your feedback, especially as you've actually said more than just 'that's good' or 'that's bad'!

Sorry for the length analysis of your comment that is to come!

I personally don't understand going from 4/4 to 2/4 to 4/4 to 2/4; maybe it's just me, but it seems as if you'd end up in the same place if you just stayed in 4/4 the whole time. But that's just me. I would say, if you've got a specific intention there, you could make it clearer with some articulations.

Yes, I'm also not to sure about the time signature changes. Personally I was thinking that maybe it should be 6/4 throughout most of the piece as maybe that's what the 4/4 + the 2/4 bars would add up to. My only problem with is that it might take away the emphasis of some of the words at the start of the 2 beat bars, but I'll think about that in any case.

You're missing at least one slur (28).

To be honest I'm not entirely sure what the meaning of slurs is in vocal music. Is it just when there is a melisma that you use it or not?

This is my personal preference in choral music, but: your writing is very blocky. The rhythm is uniform throughout the parts for almost the entire piece. Don't get me wrong the chords are gorgeous, but contrasting lines can make your piece more exciting and give it more of a sense of motion, plus, you can use rhythmic unison to much greater effect, because it will stand apart from the rest of the piece (it's good for creating either stillness or forcefulness).

I partly wrote it in this way because I was trying to draw on influences from works by Eric Whitacre and I was looking a lot at his piece 'Water Night' which is also very blocky. Having said that though I do realise that not all of his pieces are like that. I will try and put some more contrasting lines in now, and I agree that if I just use the unison for sections like the 'shining' bit it will definitely improve the piece.

I really like the "Brighter than before" section, but I think there's a more dramatic way to lead into it. It's becoming obvious that I'm a big fan of contrast, but: I think it'd be really neat if, instead of having a rest and coming in on a totally different color like that, you moved into this new bright color from the old music. And of course, crescendoing and speeding up from crazy slow dissonance into bright fuzzy major chords feels like the sun bursting through clouds. (Also, being nitpicky, your layout gets a little ugly at that spot, words running into each other, stuff like that.)

Yeh I agree that it would be better if I were to lead into it, but I'm not to sure how I would go about that: should I just extend/develop the last line of the previous verse 'And the days are dark and dreary' and then somehow merge it into the next bit? By the layout do you mean the actual way the scores laid out or the music itself?

I have problems with the way you've hyphenated "every." For two notes it should be "ev-'ry"; for three it's "ev-er-y"; you've got neither.

Hmm, actually the reason why I have it like that is because someone else on this forum told me to do it that way lol! So should I have 'ev' for the first two quavers and then " 'ry" for the next two?

Your very ending looks to be very nice, except that it could potentially be abrupt when the altos and when the men enter. Consider having the altos sing along with the sop melody until they get to their split, instead of just coming in on the E. Consider ways to bring the men in more subtly if y'want, but they're fine as is.

Yeh, now that I think about it that probably would be a bit abrubt, I'll try and think of a better way of doing that.

Okay, a lot of that was me nitpicking. It was hard to make out through the muddle of midi playback the first time I listened to this, but this is rather good, and it will really come to life in live performance. Please let me know if you ever get this read!

Yes, I do hate MIDI!! Hopefully I will be able to get my school choir to sing this, but it's not hugely likely this will happen, which is very annoying!!

Once again thanks for the comment and sorry to write such an essay in response. I will try to change some of it and then upload the files again here. Does anyone know how I replace the current files I have uploaded in my above post with new ones, or do I have to just upload them in a different post?

Once again, as I said in the unfinished portion, I think this piece is really enjoyable. You've done a great job of taking your idea and expanding on it.

Measure 29 feels slightly out of place...maybe that's just me.

I love the thickness at 36-37, great text painting.

I love the bright rays of sunshine that you achieve in 41-50. It really helps vary the bleakness of the rest of the piece (as intended with the lyrics).

The transition back to minor at 51 though seems very jarring to the ear and the women might have a hard time making that huge leap down.

I don't mind the varied texture with the 4/4 and 2/4 bars at all...and I think 6/4 wouldn't work because of the innate feeling of being in 3 that comes from 6/4.

The unison at 53 I think could use a 2-voice texture (men and women doing different things) instead of the one...and I feel like the emphasis of that phrase feels off, what word are you trying to highlight (other than fall), make that conscious decision, because it feels scattered for me.

You really have a feeling of finality at measure 58, then it continues on...I might not make that final resolution there, or perhaps resolve it do something even more suspended.

I love how you bring back the same theme at the end of each stanza, I agree with maia though, that you can absolutely bring in the altos with the sopranos so their entrance is smoother.

Great job...I enjoyed listening to it and would love to hear it performed

Hey musicdecomposed, thanks very much again for taking the time to give me some feedback!

Measure 29 feels slightly out of place...maybe that's just me.

I think you may have meant bar 28 (where the 4/2 bar is I assume you mean). It is quite a sudden change I suppose but I quite like it. It might sound worse because the MIDI doesn't really properly crescendo in the bar before it so the forte is a bit sudden. I might see what happens if I just half the note values there and make it a 4/4 bar, but I'm not sure yet.

I love the thickness at 36-37, great text painting.

I love the bright rays of sunshine that you achieve in 41-50. It really helps vary the bleakness of the rest of the piece (as intended with the lyrics).

Thank you very much! :)

The transition back to minor at 51 though seems very jarring to the ear and the women might have a hard time making that huge leap down.

I think you're right about that probably, I might change the main melody to the tenor or bass and swap their part round with the soprano/alto part or something like that anyway lol. Personally I like the sudden change to minor because the mood of the text changes again, but I'll think about it!

The unison at 53 I think could use a 2-voice texture (men and women doing different things) instead of the one...and I feel like the emphasis of that phrase feels off, what word are you trying to highlight (other than fall), make that conscious decision, because it feels scattered for me.

I think you mean 55 but anyway I definitely agree. I did the end in a bit of a rush and in retrospect the unison bit is pretty terrible lol. I will change this.

You really have a feeling of finality at measure 58, then it continues on...I might not make that final resolution there, or perhaps resolve it do something even more suspended.

I can see what you're getting at there, I might just try changing the end of that phrase so it doesn't sound so finished.

I love how you bring back the same theme at the end of each stanza, I agree with maia though, that you can absolutely bring in the altos with the sopranos so their entrance is smoother.

I'm gonna try and change that bit right now actually so I'll see what I can do!

Thanks again for the comments!

Yes, I'm also not to sure about the time signature changes. Personally I was thinking that maybe it should be 6/4 throughout most of the piece as maybe that's what the 4/4 + the 2/4 bars would add up to. My only problem with is that it might take away the emphasis of some of the words at the start of the 2 beat bars, but I'll think about that in any case.

It just seems to me that if the entire piece were in 4/4, most of the really important downbeats (e.g. measure 5, measure 18, etc.) would stay in the same place, and remember that you can achieve pseudo-downbeats with accents. But still, your call.

To be honest I'm not entirely sure what the meaning of slurs is in vocal music. Is it just when there is a melisma that you use it or not?

In vocal music, slurs are used to denote melismas--you slur notes to show that they are being sung on the same syllable. This is the only time you use slurs in vocal music--that is, you don't use them to show legato or anything like that, it just confuses your singers. (Also, remember that if you've got two voices on one staff, you need a slur for each voice, top and bottom, even if they're slurred the exact same way, and that goes for articulations too.)

By the layout do you mean the actual way the scores laid out or the music itself?

I meant the actual way the score is laid out--lyrics running into each other, stuff like that. Also, for example in measure 17 soprano staff (what I've got in front of me), you don't need to have two rests on top of each other, one for each voice--it just doesn't look pretty and is unnecessary. I would hide one of them, which will center the remaining rest and make it just look better.

Hmm, actually the reason why I have it like that is because someone else on this forum told me to do it that way lol! So should I have 'ev' for the first two quavers and then " 'ry" for the next two?

Yep, that sounds right.

Yeh I agree that it would be better if I were to lead into it, but I'm not to sure how I would go about that: should I just extend/develop the last line of the previous verse 'And the days are dark and dreary' and then somehow merge it into the next bit?

Kay, I left this one for last because I'm going to write the most here, and probably wax poetical and be really incoherent. So. This is just a suggestion, but it's the first way that came to mind for making the "Brighter than Before" section fit better in the flow of the rest of the piece. If you could some how make the section directly before it less final and heavy-seeming, then it's easier to move into the next section. So maybe take out that fermata, and as the men hold the chord, the women start the "Brighter than Before" section as they do now. And I would say start it a slightly faster tempo, but only slightly, because otherwise it's jarring, as is starting it forte. Start almost as slowly, and very quietly, and allow it to build, until by 46-47 you're at FF. And of course you could accel. into 46 as well, but if it were me, I would only do a slight accel., if any, because the "shin-ing" section seems a little out of tempo to me. Again, your call. And of course, you may want to consider tweaking 42-45 to make it more of a gradual color transition.

Along those same lines, it occurs to me now as I look at this a second time that your transition out of "Brighter than Before" is also a bit abrupt--I feel like there's a softer way to get into that. If nothing else, you could take out the fermata'd rest, and just move into it piano and a bit more drawn out. If that makes any sense... I've rambled long enough, I imagine. But I hope this was helpful, and if I can do anything else, let me know--I'll be around. Luck!

Hmm, actually the reason why I have it like that is because someone else on this forum told me to do it that way lol! So should I have 'ev' for the first two quavers and then " 'ry" for the next two?

That was me, and I STAND BY WHAT I SAID!

ev-ery would certainly get the point across, and if you're taking the text from a specific source, you should use the original text (I think). So if the text is "every" then use "every"

The point is just not to use "e-ve-r-y" and split where there are no syllables. If you do that, then whatever is fine.

By the way, a bit of non-musical advice: Don't come right out and say "I'm trying to sound like Whitacre." Eric Whitacre can already sound like Eric Whitacre much better than you or anyone else ever can - because it's his style. I mean, I may be the biggest Whitacre guru on this board (I own like 20 of his scores), but I draw from more sources than just him. Find many influences, then craft your own sound - or barring that, for the love of God don't admit to it!

Hey thanks again maianess for giving me some advice. :)

It just seems to me that if the entire piece were in 4/4, most of the really important downbeats (e.g. measure 5, measure 18, etc.) would stay in the same place, and remember that you can achieve pseudo-downbeats with accents. But still, your call.

Ok, well I'll try and change this and see what it's like. I think it will take some time to do this in sibelius though unfortunately!

Thanks for clearing up that stuff about melismas and score layout.

I'll consider what you've said about smoothing the transitions out because I agree they are a bit abrupt at the moment. I'll post the edited version of the score and MIDI files when I've made some kind of substantial changes to these bits.

Dev:

That was me, and I STAND BY WHAT I SAID!

ev-ery would certainly get the point across, and if you're taking the text from a specific source, you should use the original text (I think). So if the text is "every" then use "every"

The point is just not to use "e-ve-r-y" and split where there are no syllables. If you do that, then whatever is fine.

Thanks for commenting, I see what you mean about not changing the orginal text, I'm not sure if that's allowed or not really. I did find another setting of this text by Arthur Sullivan (which I think is pretty terrible to be honest), and on that score it is seperated as "ev - 'ry" but he only uses to notes for the word so it's not really the same so I'm still pretty confused what I should do about that! Too much conflicting information lol.

Sullivan's setting can be found here if you're interested. Sullivan's Part Songs - The Rainy Day

By the way, a bit of non-musical advice: Don't come right out and say "I'm trying to sound like Whitacre." Eric Whitacre can already sound like Eric Whitacre much better than you or anyone else ever can - because it's his style. I mean, I may be the biggest Whitacre guru on this board (I own like 20 of his scores), but I draw from more sources than just him. Find many influences, then craft your own sound - or barring that, for the love of God don't admit to it!

Well, the reason I said "I'm trying to sound like Whitacre" was because this composition is for my A-level music qualification and part of the way to get marks and a ultimately a good grade, is by saying what composers or works influenced you, and you're supposed to name specific works and things. So, I agree with you that no-one can be more like Whitacre than himself and I'd much rather create my own sound than imitate someone else's but sadly at this point I have to do it this way because I need to get a good grade!!! I suppose I have to imitate, before I can create! Thanks for the advice though. :)

Going back to my post...I did mean measure 29, at the word "worry". I think the 4/2 bar is excellent, wouldn't change it...but the happy sunshine 9 chord on worry...well...worries me. It just doesn't feel like the logical conclusion of the 4/2 bar. it just jumped at me while listening that it felt a little off. And the unison isn't terrible...it may turn out to be just the texture you're after in the long run...but I would definitely play around with it, just for interest's sake.

Going back to my post...I did mean measure 29, at the word "worry". I think the 4/2 bar is excellent, wouldn't change it...but the happy sunshine 9 chord on worry...well...worries me. It just doesn't feel like the logical conclusion of the 4/2 bar. it just jumped at me while listening that it felt a little off. And the unison isn't terrible...it may turn out to be just the texture you're after in the long run...but I would definitely play around with it, just for interest's sake.

Hey, thanks for responding. It think part of the problem is that the word you're talking about is "weary" not "worry" lol. In any case I can kind of see what you mean, I just thought that chord represented a kind of weary trying to rest kind of sound but then the again the words are "never weary" so maybe it's still not appropriate, I'll think about it.