My first song: O Pie Jesu (live recording)

For the high quality recording, click here.

For the video recording (contains more of the reverb from the space),

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When I wrote this piece my first semester in college this past fall, I wrote it as a commitment to myself. I thought that if I was to become a composition major, I would have to start off writing a song to the best of my ability. So, I gave it my best shot.

After I completed it, I showed it to my choir conductor, and he gave it to our volunteer choir to sing for the annual student composition concert. It was the most amazing moment in my life. That said, although this is my baby, ever since that concert I've wanted a true and brutally honest perspective from other composers. So, here it is!

Also, as for the text, I adapted it from the religious text "O Quam Amabilis". Hope you guys dig it.

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Edit - I just got my hands on the official recordings instead of a Youtube rip, so I thought I would update. I also finally got around to fixing up the score, so check it out.

O Pie Jesu.pdf

Hello matchboxmatt!

Your song is really beautiful! I really loved the harmonies you used. However, I think that you concentrated too much on the harmony at the expense of melody. There are places where the piece sounds a bit static because of that. I loved the more melodious section from mm. 31.

Alexandros

HAZZARD?!?! IS THAT YOU?!?!

Hello matchboxmatt!

Your song is really beautiful! I really loved the harmonies you used. However, I think that you concentrated too much on the harmony at the expense of melody. There are places where the piece sounds a bit static because of that. I loved the more melodious section from mm. 31.

Alexandros

Yeah, when I finished the piece, I realized that when I love the sound of a chord that I bring it up a lot, and I didn't really make an obvious melodic line at all (except from 31 towards the end). I agree, it does kind of get static because of that, so I'm hoping to branch out more for my next piece.

I think when I first started out, I was in love with the idea of having a constant flow in the song to achieve the effect I wanted, and that I was afraid of the idea of using rests or cutting out parts. After the performance, though, I think I got that fear out of my system.

Thanks for the input!

HAZZARD?!?! IS THAT YOU?!?!

Yes.

It's other Matt! From Faris's class!

Oh snap!

Woah! Very nice. I'll go back and give you nitpicks later tonight or tomorrow, when I've got more time to look at this, but I very much like your sound. Incidentally, this is a very good choir. Anyway, before I forget the things that struck me when I saw this score were that:

-you've got some instances of missing slurs (for any instances of one syllable over multiple notes); remember that when your slur extends over tied notes, you slur to the LAST note of the tie, not just to the first note; and I vaguely registered some weird thing with ties when you split into two voices. I think it had to do with only having a single slur for two voices, and it was confusing... I'll give you measure numbers when I look at this again.

-I feel like it'll make your piece a lot more accessible and easier to read, not to mention notate, if you put it in 4/4 and just used triplets where you need them. I wouldn't suggest it, except that you seem to actually use eight notes (that is, the sort of rhythm that sets 12/8 apart from 4/4) only about... 10 times or so? Just a thought, though it's certainly fine as is.

More later. But congrats on this one.

OK. I am hearing the same chord progressions all the way through, and even though they are very nice, they get lost after a while and lose their impact.

The same applies rhythmically, but it does get a little more interested from bar 31 onwards.

The other thing I found strange was the use of mmms and ahs. Personally, I wouldn't have used any of those in this setting and simply used the words which are powerful as they are without the ahs and mms which remind me of choral pop music and backing singers.

May I ask why the 12/8 time signature?

I chose 12/8 time because I wanted an underlying rhythm of triplets for each beat, but I don't know how well it came through. Like Maianess said, I guess triplets would have been more appropriate.

I also chose mms and ahs because I thought matching the vowel (or lack thereof) with certain parts of the progression would give the sound I wanted. A good example of looking out for this I guess would be the "ah" in venerabilis, where it creates a really cool effect. I like how the mms played out too, but I could change the "ah" back to the text if it would be a noticeable improvement.

It seems my achilles heel is my love for repetition. I'll definitely have to work on that so I don't end up killing the chords that I build my pieces around.

Aight, I'm baaaaack.

-may I ask why you've got duplicate notes tied/slurred in meas. 8? And you are missing slurs on the "Je-su" in the first few measures, in 15-16, on the "mm" in 21-22, in 34, 39-42. (Sorry, I got myself started...)

-text-wise, I've got a slight problem with measure 30, "Je" on an eight and "su" on a downbeat whole note. It's like singing "Je-SUS," it's just kind of weird. With other words in Latin, you can get away with that one more readily, but on one so recognizable, it's tricky.

-generally, take a second look at your word-emphasis. Like, "dulcis" (mm 33) is pronounced DUL-cis, but you're putting the "cis" on a downbeat, as the highest note in the phrase, so it comes out "dul-CIS."

-you already do a rather good job of this, but look for places you could draw out little dissonences/chords. Like that bit I don't remember the number of where the sops have sixteenths--would that work well fermata'd, sort of out of tempo? Look for other places you could do that, esp. in the parts with more motion, it's good for contrast.

-this is absolutely me being finicky and ridiculous, but you hit a dominant 7 chord in mm 36, and it bothers me a bit; it almost seems too conventional for this piece, if that makes any sense.

-hah, I found that funny slurring thing I was talking about! mm 38 in the alto, it's not especially clear what voice is going where.

I know my comments on this piece seem absurdly nitpicky, but that's because I could find very little other than layout to critique about this. This piece is freaking fantastic, very well done! I can see how the chords could get repetitive, though I don't think they do, but rather that they work really really well. Of course, it's something you may want to consider fiddling with--of course, you can get remarkable results by finding one tone to change, or suspending something... The other thing I'd suggest is to consider putting more movement in it, though that's just my composition training speaking. Of course it's something you should consider in revising, but I think you used stillness and rhythmic homogeny to great effect here. Still, maybe a bit of variation in the rhythm between the voices here and there? Just a thought... all in all, this piece is damn good. Very, very well done! Keep it up!

Thanks so much for the feedback Maianess! Much appreciated!

I think my problem with the slurs is that they were the easiest tool to use that I had at my disposal to signify no breaths, so I guess I used them incorrectly. I agree that the alto line is confusing towards the end, and that I could notate that a lot better. It was actually one of the confusing spots I forgot to fix, so I'll definitely try figuring that one out.

With dulcis and Jesu, I guess I gave them the short end of the stick when it comes to proper pronunciation, because the effect I was going for was more for the quality of their vowels in relationship to the chord it was falling on (bursting out at the end of the phrase with "oo" at 30, and using the "cis" in the soprano line to cut through the underlying rhythm at 33). Looking at them, Jesu definitely gave me what I wanted, but I just really needed word with the second syllable accented at 33. I wanted a sense of pleading for the dulcis, so perhaps I can fix it with different expressive text.

I whole-heartedly agree with you on 36, since I've got mixed feelings about the dominant 7th as well. When I wrote it out, admittedly, I was kind of reluctant to use it since it absolutely did have that conventional feel about it, but I stuck with it anyway because it was a very solid transition to the end. When listening to the recording, it felt like it added a different flavor to it, so I'll probably keep it unless I find a cooler idea to work with.

Again, thanks a ton Maia; I'm definitely starting to get a grip on the editing side of things when it comes to composition. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Beautiful harmonies, very uplifting.

Thanks for posting this!

Hmm, wanted to listen to another work of yours, but this folder is now empty... lol

Hmm, wanted to listen to another work of yours, but this folder is now empty... lol

I re-uploaded it just for you.

Thanks for your feedback! I'm really glad you liked it. I'm totally the same way with listening through songs.

That's awesome! It's really beautiful. And again, this is a very awesome use of the holy minimalist repetition kinda thing. And the climactic part is great too :D

I like it =D

Thanks for reuploading it for me! :D

This is really pretty, but what's up with the recording quality? Great performance though!

Thanks.

We had it recorded with good audio equipment, but the people who did the recording for the concert never released it, so this is just audio ripped from a Youtube video of someone who filmed the concert.

This was stunning. Absolutely stunning.

Someone said something about the chord changes in the beginning losing their effect, but I disagree. It sounded great.

Amazing job!

Probably some of the best work I've seen on this website. Fantastic work, Matt.

-Joshua

The chords are simply superb and the chord progressions fit in very nicely too.

Well done! Lovely piece of music.

Just to let you know, Matt...I put this song on my ipod and I listen to it all the time.

:D

Ahahaha, thanks guys!

Good gosh, you're all going to make my head inflate. I'm glad you all enjoy it!

Just to update you, Matt...this song is still on my iPod and I still listen to it all the time.

Beautiful is an understatement.