Open Water

Hello!

Maybe someone can look at my latest work 'Open Water'. It's dodecaphonic. I'm curious what you'll think of it!

Greetings,

Kombelpeter

openwater.pdf

open water.mid

it is a weird strange cool music

good job

but . too short

I hope you know a flautist with a lung capacity of a god. And some kind of super-soprano Timanist.

Those two aspects of the piece aren't possible.

It brings a certain sense of danger, like i'm waiting for sometihng BAD to happen. I hope you can achieve that, but this is incomplete, right? should go in incomplete forum section rather than here.

It Sounds like Old School Vg Music!

I hope you know a flautist with a lung capacity of a god. And some kind of super-soprano Timanist.

Actually, I'd say more like two and a half gods. :hmm:

Anyway, unidiomatic writing aside, it still wasn't very good. Too often the phrases felt disjointed and random. Plus, at only a little over minute, it doesn't leave much an impression or have much variety. I think someone mentioned that it sounded like old school videogame music and I'd have to agree. I'm guessing this is a first (or at least early) attempt at a dodecaphonic piece. You do have a few okay ideas, which with some development, could make for an alright piece. This piece does have some potential especially in the first ten seconds or so.

Overall, I'd say your biggest problem is that you seem to be writing something against the twelve-tone system rather than for it.... which can have some interesting effects as several composers throughout history have shown but in this case, it doesn't feel intentional or particularly good.

No dynamics. Too much unison writing. Random rhythms that obscure the beat.

Just boring, sorry. :S

but . too short

True. It was written for a school project. The teacher didn't want too long pieces; he is a busy man. :P

I hope you can achieve that, but this is incomplete, right?

Yes, you're right. Some musical ideas need much more development and improvement.

I hope you know a flautist with a lung capacity of a god.

Yes, I do. :D

Too often the phrases felt disjointed and random.

I agree. The rhythm in the flutes at a certain point is meant to sound like a meaningless struggle against reality, the last measure in the timpani too. It's hmmm... mockery.

Just boring, sorry. :S

Thanks for the constructive criticism :P Can you be a bit more specific?

Thanks for the replies!

Are you want constructive critizm right? Alright. What's this orchestration??

Never heard of Piccolo, Trombone, Tuba?? One F.horn parts instead of 4(!!!!), One Trumpet part isntead of 3 (!!!!), What's this? Your players always play in unison!! Neverd heard of "divisi parts"?? And that's just the score, are you understand me my friend? It won't be a problem if your piece would sound good,but its not (in my opinion)! Try to learn how to compose a consonant piece before you try a more complex one!! That's my constructive critics.

I found it boring cause it's so random! No fantasy, no talent, nothing in this piece. It's a piece of crap nothing more sorry for harshness it's my thoughts. Maybe I'm too honest but this is what I'm really think. I could say that , Oh it's a wonderful piece, but its not. I didnt want to harm you just your piece. Take that into consideration. Practise and you'll get better. Bye.

Are you want constructive critizm right? Alright. What's this orchestration??

Never heard of Piccolo, Trombone, Tuba?? One F.horn parts instead of 4(!!!!), One Trumpet part isntead of 3 (!!!!), What's this? Your players always play in unison!! Neverd heard of "divisi parts"?? And that's just the score, are you understand me my friend? It won't be a problem if your piece would sound good,but its not (in my opinion)! Try to learn how to compose a consonant piece before you try a more complex one!! That's my constructive critics.

I found it boring cause it's so random! No fantasy, no talent, nothing in this piece. It's a piece of crap nothing more sorry for harshness it's my thoughts. Maybe I'm too honest but this is what I'm really think. I could say that , Oh it's a wonderful piece, but its not. I didnt want to harm you just your piece. Take that into consideration. Practise and you'll get better. Bye.

Now, that's better. You agree with me that saying 'just boring', isn't a very structured way of saying that you don't like the piece?

As I said before in this thread, I'm sure that you read it, since you're so open-minded, this isn't finished yet. My excuses for putting it in the wrong forum, but I'm new to this message board; I even didn't know that there was such a part on this forum for 'incomplete' pieces.

I think this piece needs a lot of hard work to be once enjoyable. But maybe it would sound much more great if you would use GPO or something (perhaps you haven't got any sound library I dont know). Maybe the midi sounding that's annoying me. But whatever, it's random. You know there are modern pieces and atonal pieces that's full of talent. For example Messiaen's Turangalila Symphony.

It's weird but great. But this piece is just a...you know. That's very hard to write a great atonal piece or modern piece that's really enjoyable, not easy that's why I suggested you to first try a more consonant one since obviously you are a beginner. I dont want to harm you again but everyone can see from how you construct your...

But maybe it would sound much more great if you would use GPO or something (perhaps you haven't got any sound library I dont know).

True. I tried to install GPO, but Sibelius crashed all the time when I tried to use it to play the score. Any tips?

You know there are modern pieces and atonal pieces that's full of talent. For example Messiaen's Turangalila Symphony.

The Turangalila Symphony isn't entirely atonal... But I have to agree with you about the talent of Messiaen.

very hard to write a great atonal piece or modern piece that's really enjoyable, not easy that's why I suggested you to first try a more consonant one since obviously you are a beginner.

I like when people write something in 5 minutes and when they post it they cry if someone dislike it. Lol.

I hope that you see that I'm not that kind of person. Only your first weird comment irritated me, not the fact that you disliked it. :)

I agree partly with you. In music theory and general music knowledge I'm not a beginner; without being arrogant I could say that I'm pretty advanced. However, I'm a novice in the actual writing for musical instruments. That's my main problem: no experience.

Hey dude I think I can help you. If you have any questions how to make better your pieces just ask me. Anyway perhaps Sibelius and GPO crashes maybe you dont have enough RAM.

And when I siad that that there are people who cries for their pieces I didt think of you exactly. I just bored of people who cant take critics. Than why they post their pieces. They expect that everyone will say that it's alright or what? Than they never learn.

Great! I'll try it again with some more memory plugged in, and if it doesn't work I'll ask! :)