Breath Eternal

Song Title: Breath Eternal

Song Length: Approximately 4:15

Text:

Breath Eternal

Washing over

As blood,

As bitter-sweet libations:

Invigorating sacrifice.

Cold Storm

Made warm by woe

Of immeasurable wounds,

Yet caressing;

Calming torrents.

Night-wind,

Bursting through darkness

From cavities filled by fire,

By luminous conflagrations;

Purifying love.

I like this a lot. I think your setting of the text is very appropriate and it seems pretty cohesive.

Cheers:

- Good mixture of close and open voicings

- Sense of movement. It always seems like choral pieces that make use of extended harmony can be interminably slow. Your piece flows very well and never seems stagnant.

- The Fb major 7 chord in measure 21. Magnifico!

- Nice use of space.

Jeers (if any):

- I didn't care for the resolution to D minor in measure 45. Just my opinion, though.

- A couple of divisi issues: Measures 35 - 38 could be tightened up a bit. It looks to me that you're having the 1st and 2nd sopranos share the E on "woe" in 36, except the 2nds are holding that note from the previous measure, according to the text. Just to be really specific, I would put another goose egg next to the one in 36 and tie it to the original 2nd soprano note in 35. Also, you might want to insert a quarter rest for the second sopranos in 38 since their D doesn't carry across. I'm assuming you want all parts back together on beat 2, "cold."

One other minor thing: I would personally italicize "solo or small group of sopranos" since it's right next to the actual text in the same font. Or use an asterisk.

That's awfully nitpicky of me, but your score looks very good overall. I think this piece deserves to be performed. You'd need a good choir, but it's totally do-able. Do you have a performance scheduled for it? Again, great job on this piece.

Cheers,

FMcG

Thank you much!

Regarding the resolution to D Minor, do you know any specific reason you might not like it? For example, is it the chord itself or the fact that the basses are not supporting it?

That's a very good idea with that E; I knew something wasn't right there, but I couldn't decide what. As for the rest two measures later in the second sopranos, I actually wanted them to sing the E to make it easier for them to jump down to the E to chords later, but I'm not sure how necessary that is.

I might actually have a performance lined up for this in February at the Carnegie Museum by the Pittsburgh Camerata (they found my "O Nata Lux" last year and performed it in their Christmas concerts, so that's where the connection came from), but I have also sent it to a couple of directors in Utah (where I live) as well as Craig Hella Johnson, because one of my former directors has connections with him. I'm really excited to hear it live, because this piece means a lot to me.

Regarding the resolution to D Minor, do you know any specific reason you might not like it? For example, is it the chord itself or the fact that the basses are not supporting it?

Hmm....I think it just seemed a little plain to me. You had that D maj7 with split thirds thing going on a couple bars before, followed by a wacky quartal chord. The plain D minor seemed like a step backwards, but maybe that's what you wanted. Don't worry though, it's just like the ending chord in my piece that you looked at. Totally a personal judgement call.

That's a very good idea with that E; I knew something wasn't right there, but I couldn't decide what. As for the rest two measures later in the second sopranos, I actually wanted them to sing the E to make it easier for them to jump down to the E to chords later, but I'm not sure how necessary that is.

Sure. If that's the case, I would again double that note, this time by adding another stem. Otherwise, you can just have them rest for two beats and have them come in on the lower E. You're going to have a good choir for this so I'm sure they're capable of a descending minor 7th!

I sure hope you can have this performed. I would love to hear a recording some day.

FMcG

Hmm....I think it just seemed a little plain to me. You had that D maj7 with split thirds thing going on a couple bars before, followed by a wacky quartal chord. The plain D minor seemed like a step backwards, but maybe that's what you wanted. Don't worry though, it's just like the ending chord in my piece that you looked at. Totally a personal judgement call.

True, and that is what I intended (although the fact that it's in second inversion does make it a little less plain, in my opinion, but it doesn't really matter, because it works for what I wanted). Thanks for you opinion, nonetheless, especially about those sheet music fudges.

Totally. Sometimes you just have to follow your gut and do what interests you. I'm a firm believer in keeping a balance between composing for yourself and for your intended audience. Thanks as well for your comments on my piece. I look forward to hearing more of your stuff.

You are very welcome!

This is groovy. Well annotated, well written, not a spot wrong with editing; it's really excellent. I especially love your text painting, and every moment you made when you have the bass open up their lower register.

I'd say the only issue is that you have basses humming a D. I'd suggest having them sing a neutral vowel like "ah" or "oo" so that amazing Russian bass sound can be heard.

Too bad virtual instruments can't do swells justice. I can imagine the ending being hot as all get out.

Nice work, man.

Actually, I just now found an error in editing! Haha...fixed it!

Anyway, thank you very much for your comment. I'm going to ask a bass about what would work for that D. Thanks for the suggestion!

Also, kind of out of the blue, but have you ever played the video game for SNES Secret of Mana? Because it has a beautiful score, and this reminds me of one of my favorite songs out of there.

YouTube - Rose and Ghost: Secret of Mana Music

Hahaha, that's so funny! I love the music from Secret of Mana (and that game in general...super good memories of playing that game/watching my siblings play)! I'm curious, though, what do you think is similar?

It's primarily the wave motive you have repeating in the three upper parts throughout the song and the general mood of the piece. The way you resolve "through the darkness", "filled by fire" and the "luminous" phrase in general also reminds me of the first portion of the field theme in Secret of Mana, so it wasn't just that. You have a lovely way of treating cadences and ending phrases, kind of brings up all these colors and moods I'm not used to hearing.

Well in any case, thank you very much. To me, that's a pretty wicked-awesome compliment!

ONE criticism only... move "nal" (at the very end) to the last note. I promise it will get a better response.

Other than that.. it was stunning and beautiful! Something I would aspire to write. Very simplistic in its motif, yet develops it without going beyond the scope of the piece. Actually, VERY controlled, and you have a good sense on the scope and range of the choir.

Wonderful job.

Watch out for that modulation with resolution to D minor, that will need to be MUCH practiced by the choir, but if it has the natural ritard I hear it with, should be beautiful.

:)

Oh, you just caught a mistake in the score! I actually intended for that "nal" be on the last note all this time, but I somehow missed the fact that I didn't put it that way in the sheet music. SOOO glad you noticed!

I did indeed intend there to be a ritard there, but I won't probably be involved at all with rehearsals if it's performed in Pittsburgh. Now if I can get my current choir director to do it, that would be another story...

Thanks a ton for your comments, and high praises; they mean a lot coming from you! I'm so glad you like it!

:) No Problem.

I thought this has been performed....where is the recording? This was commissioned...correct? Or was that something else?

No, this has not been performed, and no, it was not commissioned (that would be nice, but alas...). My "O Nata Lux" was performed (but also not commissioned) a couple of times last year if that's what you're thinking of.