Two themes for piano

(edited)

Well, this looks pretty interesting.

I don't know what you mean with your B theme, but everything from m5 onwards contains dissonances as far as I can hear.

I think you can insert as many dissonances as you want to, especially from about m24. At that point I got used to the other dissonances, so feel free to increase them even more if you have the need to do so.

I don't think your writersblock was that big, I have seen you posting a couple of pieces a while ago... :P

Thanks roy!

Well, I thinking to rewrite these bars (m5 to m8) because I think the theme A is very consonant that the other theme and I want a bit of coherence :happy:

I had a concern with B theme because I think this theme is very but very contrastant, and perhaps this will be a disadvantage...

Thanks for the help!

I think it's admirable that you're developing your pieces without resorting to extremely lengthy repeats :) Of course, there's absolutely nothing wrong with repetition in and of itself, but I'm glad to see that you're not using it as a crutch, which was sometimes a bit of a problem.

But frankly, I enjoyed those other pieces with the repeats much more than this. This piece is a little academically interesting, Silva, (more on that later*), but it looks like you're trying much too hard to create an overwrought, complicated piece in a style that I think you're kind of uncomfortable dealing with at this point. The piece has the happy, almost bouncy-like style that smacks of Clementi, and then this style being mixed with white-key clusters and wild poly-rhythms and sudden bass murmurs, as well as unusual voice-leading choices ... there's just no sense of any kind to it, that I can see :(

All this leads up to where the main issue is -- this piece literally has no audience.

This piece is not approachable by those who want to be able to play something simple and beautiful, something heartfelt that tells a clear story. And this piece would not be appreciated by people who want to hear a piece as said before.

*But on the other hand, this piece would not be appreciated by those who want something more meaty -- something that's not necessarily pleasant, but at least very interesting in the usage of clusters or in the harshness of the harmonic work, etc. But this piece is honestly not all that interesting, even on a purely intellectual level -- the clusters are only white-keyed, after all, which is not all that harsh a sound. And the tone of the piece is still pervaded with that happy rhythm, and is not dark at all. Even the harmonic work isn't particularly colorful! People who want something harsh and dissonant aren't going to be pleased with this piece either.

In short, damned if you do, damned if you don't :dunno:

I'm truly sorry to be so frank with you, but I wouldn't do so if I didn't think that good things would come about as a result. I've seen that you have talent, and I'd hate you to feel that you have to be shoved down a path that you don't want to go down yet.

Just listen to this piece you made --

http://www.box.net/shared/h61bdh22h4 (MP3)

http://www.box.net/shared/rtalsn81v9 (PDF)

Notice how you use repetition to good effect in this piece! Notice that it is entirely cohesive in its style, it has an audience that will really appreciate its beauty and subtle dissonance, and that it's well developed. It is a good piece.

You have to be true to yourself when it comes to making music! Don't throw that away in an effort to gain others' approval! :nod:

o .O

Ok. Let's go.

Perhaps your are right, I'm trying to impress myself and audience intending to do a more complicated work. (This is a long story)

But avoiding repeats isn't a idea I had when I read some of your criticism, Serge. This idea is very old, but your reviews reminded it.

I don't think this piece doesn't have and audience. Well, perhaps not in north america and some places like, but here is, for some reason, well received in my inner circle (they are musicians too). I suspect the reason is because I fell this draft have a bit influences of latinoamerican popular music (but really I don't know why, this is a belief only.)

Also, I dissagre with that dark and white categorization you do in matters of musical taste. The people who likes harsh chords combined with mellow melodies exists.

Anyway, this isn't a portafolio work. It's just an very curious experiment with the lenght of the themes. Perhaps I don't publish it here, perhaps I publish there. I don't know.

I love sincerity, and I don't take that like an attack. I love this type of criticism!

Thanks! :happy:

Anyway, this isn't a portafolio work. It's just an very curious experiment with the lenght of the themes. Perhaps I don't publish it here, perhaps I publish there. I don't know.

This reassures me, and I was in fact wondering if you were simply experimenting with dissonances. I'm sorry that I perhaps over-reacted a bit :blush:

Thank you for being so mature about it, it's a very good sign that you take criticism with such grace.

This reassures me, and I was in fact wondering if you were simply experimenting with dissonances. I'm sorry that I perhaps over-reacted a bit :blush:

Thank you for being so mature about it, it's a very good sign that you take criticism with such grace.

:lol: your are welcome.

Also, yes, I'm trying experimentation with dissonances. Perhaps I will try to write another experiment piece with more harsh style.

Thanks!