A broken dream

I try to create a contrast by using a happy theme in the beginning, but breaking it down to a more sad and dramatic one.

Welcome to YC, ZenathD! I know its not like you joined yesterday or anything, but it feels like your first time since this is your first piece.

It's nice! Here a couple suggestions.

Make sure everything sounds like its in time rhythmically. 0:08 is one of these places where the reed sounds slightly off from the snare drum.

My other thought is to work on balancing the volume of all your instruments a bit better. The first time through, I couldn't hear your themes clearly cuz they were blocked by other instruments playing arpeggios or sustained chords. 1:02 is an example of this. The glockenspiel has the theme, and so we wanna hear it clearly. We want it to stand out. Might I suggest dropping everything else at that section down in dynamics?

One last quick thing. You have a really strong theme, and it would sound awesome if you presented it in different keys or even different modes. One simple suggestion would be to take the theme at 1:26 and put it up a tone or a semitone.

Cool piece, ZenathD! If you have other pieces, don't be shy; share them! I look forward to hearing them.

Peace,

-John

Hi John,

Thankyou for listening and taking the time to make a comment on it.

It is always nice, when other peple want to review the music, that one makes. When I sit at home and compose, I think everything sounds great. This may however not be the case, when looking through the objective glasses. But while you sit there and try to express your idea it sounds great in your head. I think almost every composer feels this way about his music, because why would someone compose anything that they don't like themselves to listen too?

I think a composer will, most of the time, be a bit sensetive about other people judging it. It is however one of the only ways to know, that you are improving and getting better. You have to accept that you do not know every tool of the trade. And that you can learn alot from others.

Especially from constructive criticism, that you yourself just provided. It always takes some effort, to do a review thats constructive. I will take what what you said into consideration, and listen closely to the music, where you suggest me to make some changes.

And of course, I cannot rule out the possibility that this piece will show up again. Improved and also maybe, with a key change. ;)

But before that, I will look forward to be submitting some of my other music.