ABerteaux Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Hello All! Very new to this site but in need of critique. Just started composing again and am extremely rusty, trying to get back into it. I just put together this composition and want some advice on articulation and voicing, and any other feedback anyone is willing to give. My idea for this piece is for it to be a part of a larger work. Thanks for listening and helping me out! Movement 2 in B Major.pdf Movement 2 in B Major.mp3 MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu Movement 2 in B Major > next PDF Movement 2 in B Major Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monarcheon Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 It's generally very nice. Be careful about how you work your dissonances and crossed voices. Measure 26 stood out to me as bizarre, since you resolved, off beat, to a dissonance. Measure 10 features the biggest problem of crossed voices. The problem with triplets is that it's very easy to accidentally miss over a weird passing tone in your listening. I'd encourage you to go back and look through your piece, and see if notes conflict with each other. Notation stuff: m. 21 - Make sure you use the proper way to do syncopations, with the tied over third beat. This looks intimidating to performers. All - Engraving is a bit sloppy. Move some things around. m. 13 - I'd add two up bows on the quarter note triplet to have everything start down. m. 25 - Too long a bows. Split it up. All - Bowing issues. Not as bad as m. 25, but you need to split up these bowings better. m. 46 - Last note should be a dotted half. It was quite pleasant to listen to. Cheers! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABerteaux Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 (edited) 9 hours ago, Monarcheon said: It's generally very nice. Be careful about how you work your dissonances and crossed voices. Measure 26 stood out to me as bizarre, since you resolved, off beat, to a dissonance. Measure 10 features the biggest problem of crossed voices. The problem with triplets is that it's very easy to accidentally miss over a weird passing tone in your listening. I'd encourage you to go back and look through your piece, and see if notes conflict with each other. Notation stuff: m. 21 - Make sure you use the proper way to do syncopations, with the tied over third beat. This looks intimidating to performers. All - Engraving is a bit sloppy. Move some things around. m. 13 - I'd add two up bows on the quarter note triplet to have everything start down. m. 25 - Too long a bows. Split it up. All - Bowing issues. Not as bad as m. 25, but you need to split up these bowings better. m. 46 - Last note should be a dotted half. It was quite pleasant to listen to. Cheers! Thank you for this valuable feedback! I went back and revised my piece to reflect many of the issues you pointed out. I have yet to fix the engraving of the piece, but if you would like to review my changes I will post an updated MP3 and PDF in this reply. Any more feedback is welcome and appreciated! Movement 2 in B Major.pdf Movement 2 in B Major.mp3 Edited March 3, 2017 by ABerteaux MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu Movement 2 in B Major > next PDF Movement 2 in B Major Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Quince Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 There are a couple of places where the low cello over the bass sounds muddy to me, mm. 3-4 for one. I think @Monarcheon hit everything else I was going to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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