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How to deal with doubt


atrombonist

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So I recently made the decision to go to school for composition, and since then I've been feeling lots of self doubt that I'm not good enough or not as good as all the others I would be competing against. Keeping in mind I'm not actually in music school yet, I think it might just be fear of the unknown going from an amercian public high school stem-centered education to a fully music education, but this has been affecting my ability to write music recently. Has anyone else encountered this, and have any tips for dealing with it? Thanks in advance.

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If you're feeling too nervous to be creative at the moment, take a break from composing and practice other skills to reassure yourself that you're ready.  Music theory, music history, practicing your instrument, ear training, sight reading at speed... all of these are things you're going to do more of once you get to your music school, so it's not wasted time to do some practicing now.  They are also life-long skills that you will keep reviewing and improving, even after you graduate.  If you think of this as a longer journey than just the program you are heading to now, that may make this particular step less intimidating.  

Are you accepted to a program already?  Or still waiting to apply?  I couldn't tell from your post.  If you haven't gotten to the application stage yet, do some research to figure out how best to prepare yourself.  Talk to your music teachers.  Look at the websites of programs you are interested in and see what their application requirements are and what subjects they teach in year one.  The music theory AP test has information online you can download to practice.  Even if you're not taking that particular test, it's a good place to look to see if you've covered all your basics.  Take some textbooks out of the library or order them online and do a bit of reading to introduce yourself to concepts you haven't run into yet and review old ones.  

If you're nervous, prepare yourself.  🙂

 

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5 hours ago, pateceramics said:

If you're feeling too nervous to be creative at the moment, take a break from composing and practice other skills to reassure yourself that you're ready.  Music theory, music history, practicing your instrument, ear training, sight reading at speed... all of these are things you're going to do more of once you get to your music school, so it's not wasted time to do some practicing now.  They are also life-long skills that you will keep reviewing and improving, even after you graduate.  If you think of this as a longer journey than just the program you are heading to now, that may make this particular step less intimidating.  

Are you accepted to a program already?  Or still waiting to apply?  I couldn't tell from your post.  If you haven't gotten to the application stage yet, do some research to figure out how best to prepare yourself.  Talk to your music teachers.  Look at the websites of programs you are interested in and see what their application requirements are and what subjects they teach in year one.  The music theory AP test has information online you can download to practice.  Even if you're not taking that particular test, it's a good place to look to see if you've covered all your basics.  Take some textbooks out of the library or order them online and do a bit of reading to introduce yourself to concepts you haven't run into yet and review old ones.  

If you're nervous, prepare yourself.  🙂

 

 

I'm in the middle of applications right now, so I haven't been accepted into a program yet. Thanks for the advice though, I actually already took the ap music theory test (and got a 5) but I'll practice some of the other stuff you mentioned. Thanks again.

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It's healthy and useful to compeete with others. But you can only compete with people you know, not phantom applicants.  So don't worry about that. When you go for your interview and auditions, just be in the moment. Enjoy yourself. You deserve to be there because you have already reached a plateau by commiting yourself to a rigorous education that most people don't (and I assume you've convinced your parents of this and they were probably apprehensive.) It's going to be a heck of a lot of fun - even the nerves. Especially the nerves.

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