Ave Maria

So many versions of Ave Maria's I have heard are really so happy and positive. So, I have decided to create a minory version of it (haha). I would love to have everyone's feed back please. I am going to attach a pdf of the score, a mix down (using synth to play it), and a snippet with actual voices sang by my friend Joshua Tovar. Thank you! Please leave any helpful comments below! Thank you in advance!

Edited January 9, 20197 yr by Rafael Andres Diazz

I saw this and your commentary about it, and I had to see what you'd done.  A couple of years ago, when I was feeling very worried about mankind and the world, I wrote an Ave Maria "in tempore tribulationis" (in time of trouble), by hand and in one sitting, and it was very dark indeed, so I understand the impetus behind what you were trying to achieve here.

Some of your harmonies remind me of Arvo Pärt - one of the most important choral composers alive now.  Your writing has effectively conveyed a mood of sorrow and anxiety.  

I have to take you to task about the tessitura of your soprano part.  In choral music, it's almost never a good idea to take the sopranos up to high-C; and to expect a piano dynamic on a high B-flat is not reasonable.  That said, the climax you reach at "Jesu" is very effective...it's just not advisable choral writing. 

Remain mindful of the meaning of your Latin text; it doesn't make sense to repeat and linger on a word like "nunc" (now), for example.

Why the F-flat on the word "mortis"?  I'm not sure I understand why you did that.  Just write an E, as you've done in the soprano.  

What you did on the word "nostrae," the culmination of the phrase "nunc et in hora mortis nostrae" (now and at the hour of our death) is bone-chilling!  Very nicely done. 

In conclusion, I admonish you once again to be careful not to take your choral parts too high (or low) in their range.    

This is a beautiful piece of music that you've created. The harmonies are very rich and the dissonances you use convey a ton of emotion. As J.Lee mentioned, you definitely have to be aware of range. Your friend did a great job recording it!