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serena221b

Still Here

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I figured it was time I tried my hand composing a piece for voice. To give you a little background information, this song is part of a potential musical that I'm working on. It doesn't have a title yet, but the story is about Brienna Holland, a 17 year old lesbian who leaves the conservative Christian community that she grew up in after being outed by her pastor in front of the entire congregation and later disowned by her mother. The worst part is that she has to leave her girlfriend, Lauren Blair, behind for her own safety. Brienna runs away and starts over in a new city, where she finds a friend who immediately accepts her for who she is and gives her a home. But Brienna learns the hard way that no matter how far she runs, it's only a matter of time before the demons of her past catch up with her.

I plan for this song to take place near the end of the second act. Brienna has just found out via one of the only friends she had back home that Lauren was murdered in an alley by members of her old church. Over the course of this song, Brienna contemplates what she did to deserve so much pain in her life. Not wanting to endure that pain anymore, she runs into a building and climbs the stairs all the way up to the roof. But when Brienna tries to jump, she can't. Something is holding her back. And then, Brienna realizes that there was one person back home who she never got to face before she left. Brienna has been given a sign to go back to her hometown, if only to give that person a chance. The song ends with Brienna praying to God for the first time in nearly a year, asking him to do everything in his power to make sure that this doesn't go terribly wrong. Because if it does, Brienna won't hesitate to jump next time.

Yeah, it's pretty heavy stuff. 😂 I'm basically posting this on here because I need some help with editing to make sure that there isn't anything weird or unplayable in the piano part. And if you have any ideas on how I can expand this piece, whether it be reworking the lyrics or the melody, I'm open to suggestions. I've attached a PDF as well as an MP3 of the music for your reference.

Edited by serena221b
After some extensive editing by me and my mentor for a little over a month, I am happy to bring you the final version of this piece.
MP3
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That's a very sad but timely story. The music is perfect for the words, and definitely has a "musical" sound to it. Keep at it! I'm excited to see how this develops.

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Careful with the handling of suspensions. Sometimes you have the sus4 and the third present at the same time, which can be used for effect, but because of how sparse the writing is, makes it sound more like an interval than a chord choice.

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@MonarcheonI just posted a new version that my mentor and I have extensively edited over the past month. The version you saw was honestly very outdated, and a lot of the suspensions that you mentioned have probably been fixed in the new version.

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Wow, this song has changed quite a bit since the last time I heard it. To be honest the first time I heard it I clicked off of it cause it bored me. But this version is really good. I listened through the whole thing, and afterwards checked that great summary before the piece. I can tell that this is a meaningful piece to you, not just by how much you say you worked, but by how beautiful  it is. Even though this is just a crappy midi voice, reading along to your music gave me chills. Its a pretty heartbreaking piece to read, and the piano complements it so well. I just want to say bravo, you need to either perform this piece yourself or find someone who will. 

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