Too Much Too Soon

I worked on this last night and I'm happy with how it turned out.

Edited February 23, 20206 yr by Left Unexplained

so I usually dont critique without scores, however the orchestration at the beginning is so darn gorgeous, I couldnt resist .

1) Your opening Bb9sus chords.  Develop that longer.  That modulation to B seems abrupt.   TOO abrupt.   

2) The Ab triplets are a nice touch around 1:12.   Develop the fifteen seconds BEFOREHAND even longer.   Then add that.   Next, those triplets are dying for a counterpoint line

Now give me a score 😄

19 hours ago, maestrowick said:

so I usually dont critique without scores, however the orchestration at the beginning is so darn gorgeous, I couldnt resist .

 

1) Your opening Bb9sus chords.  Develop that longer.  That modulation to B seems abrupt.   TOO abrupt.   

 

2) The Ab triplets are a nice touch around 1:12.   Develop the fifteen seconds BEFOREHAND even longer.   Then add that.   Next, those triplets are dying for a counterpoint line

Now give me a score 😄

 

1. I hear what you're saying

2. by a counterpoint line, what do you mean?

On 2/24/2020 at 8:36 AM, Left Unexplained said:

1. I hear what you're saying

2. by a counterpoint line, what do you mean?

 

write a secondary melodic line underneath your melody