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jonesy1331
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The audio is really bad but it's whatevs.

The crescendos and decrescendo are supposed to be more subtle and gradual than those in the audio.   m.14 is supposed to be a sudden drop in dynamics and m.26-27 is supposed to rise and fall evenly but dramatically. I apologize for the audio its pretty bad. The last sonority is badly balanced and blended in the audio but eh idek at this point.

My first composition i fully wrote and am sharing! currently working on a wind ensemble piece so look out for that if you liked this. Welcome to feedback and criticism. I would also any tips relating to composing, online notation software (i use flat.io), or DAW, etc. 

Thanks!

-J

 

 

Green.xml

Edited by jonesy1331
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Hi, Thanks for posting! By looking at the first bars the harmony and the voice leading looks quite odd:

  1. It starts with a dominant chord in its second inversion. which resolves to a tonic chord in its second inversion, all voices moving by fourth step upwards in the same direction. The third chord is also in second inversion. As a main rule in classical style a composition should start with a chord in its fundamental position, or eventually in a first inversion. Second inversion is most commonly used as a passing chord with the base moving by step or as a cadential chord on the tonic preparing the dominant chord. 
  2. In 3 parts paralel octaves and fifths are better to be avoided (in bar 3 the 2 lower parts have a parallel fifth. 
  3. It must be space between the parts to let the voices breath and make the harmony clear (on bar 12, second beat the parts play F-E-D, so three consecutive notes of the scale) I don't feel the harmony to be clear there. Since the register is pretty low, I recommend to replace the lower part for a Bass trombone trying to keep some space between voices to make the lines clear. You could also transpose the whole piece to a higher key, though I think the character and instrumentation fits well the the key (I personally like trombones playing choral style in its middle-low register). Also by the end you play a Bb on the upper part. I think and alto tromobone would be definitely a better choice. 
  4. Parts are better to move mainly by step. Leaps are good to create variety and explore new registers, but all voices moving by leap at the same time is not the best option. 
  5.  Look for contrary motion, specially between the expreme parts as much as possible. It helps balancing lines and avoiding mistakes, such as parallel and direct fifths and octaves.
  6.  I three parts harmony, not all chords must be complete, you can double one of the notes and omit another. 

Though the realization can be quite better I think the line have some potential, if you put some effort on that. I wrote a version of the first bars, just to show some posibilities using a bit more counterpointal texture with the parts being more independent, complementing with each other and looking some passing harmonies. I just did the some minor changes like passing or neighbour notes and replaced the first note (F instead of D, since the leading tone is better to resolve on the tonic) and replaced the three trombone of a bass trombone, which is better playing on tenor trombone lower octave. Of course, it's plenty of solutions. 

I recommend you to read read some stuff and doing a lot of exercises of harmony and counterpoint. Practical Manual of Harmony by Rimsky Korsakov, por exemple is a good point to start. It has a very classical approach, so not all rules must be taken as 100% right, specially if you are aiming for a more contemparary style, but it definetely give you some basics and the exposition is quite easy to follow. 

By any question you can write me here or private, I'll be glad to help you 🙂

Best wishes!

Guillem

Edited by Guillem82
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Hi,

Sounds pretty good. I think you would benefit from learning harmony and voice leading a little bit more. Counterpoint especially is a difficult area of study but is worth doing to vastly improve your skills in composition.

The main thing I pick out is that the lines are very close together, which means they overlap a lot and often sound a little confused. You could solve this by widening the space between the 1st and Bass part by either keeping the 1st in a higher register, moving onto alto trombone, or even moving the bass to Contrabass Trombone (the instrument is rare so this isn't necessarily the best solution).

On 4/8/2020 at 7:05 AM, jonesy1331 said:

I would also any tips relating to composing, online notation software (i use flat.io), or DAW, etc. 

If you have a PC, then it can be worth investigating notation software. Musescore is free, and is an excellent software. It is very user friendly and is good for amateur composers (it's what I use). However, most professional composers I've spoken to use Sibelius, which is more advanced and has better features. It is expensive though.

Good work! Just one more thing: what does the name signify?

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8 hours ago, Guillem82 said:

Hi, Thanks for posting! By looking at the first bars the harmony and the voice leading looks quite odd:

  1. It starts with a dominant chord in its second inversion. which resolves to a tonic chord in its second inversion, all voices moving by fourth step upwards in the same direction. The third chord is also in second inversion. As a main rule in classical style a composition should start with a chord in its fundamental position, or eventually in a first inversion. Second inversion is most commonly used as a passing chord with the base moving by step or as a cadential chord on the tonic preparing the dominant chord. 
  2. In 3 parts paralel octaves and fifths are better to be avoided (in bar 3 the 2 lower parts have a parallel fifth. 
  3. It must be space between the parts to let the voices breath and make the harmony clear (on bar 12, second beat the parts play F-E-D, so three consecutive notes of the scale) I don't feel the harmony to be clear there. Since the register is pretty low, I recommend to replace the lower part for a Bass trombone trying to keep some space between voices to make the lines clear. You could also transpose the whole piece to a higher key, though I think the character and instrumentation fits well the the key (I personally like trombones playing choral style in its middle-low register). Also by the end you play a Bb on the upper part. I think and alto tromobone would be definitely a better choice. 
  4. Parts are better to move mainly by step. Leaps are good to create variety and explore new registers, but all voices moving by leap at the same time is not the best option. 
  5.  Look for contrary motion, specially between the expreme parts as much as possible. It helps balancing lines and avoiding mistakes, such as parallel and direct fifths and octaves.
  6.  I three parts harmony, not all chords must be complete, you can double one of the notes and omit another. 

Though the realization can be quite better I think the line have some potential, if you put some effort on that. I wrote a version of the first bars, just to show some posibilities using a bit more counterpointal texture with the parts being more independent, complementing with each other and looking some passing harmonies. I just did the some minor changes like passing or neighbour notes and replaced the first note (F instead of D, since the leading tone is better to resolve on the tonic) and replaced the three trombone of a bass trombone, which is better playing on tenor trombone lower octave. Of course, it's plenty of solutions. 

I recommend you to read read some stuff and doing a lot of exercises of harmony and counterpoint. Practical Manual of Harmony by Rimsky Korsakov, por exemple is a good point to start. It has a very classical approach, so not all rules must be taken as 100% right, specially if you are aiming for a more contemparary style, but it definetely give you some basics and the exposition is quite easy to follow. 

By any question you can write me here or private, I'll be glad to help you 🙂

Best wishes!

Guillem

 

MP3
 
 
  • Green (version first bars)
0:00
 
 
0:00
 

Hi Guillem,

Thanks so much for your tips. I'm definitely just starting to get into composing so thank you for all your tips! I'll definitely take a look at that book by Rimsky-Korsakov.

Thanks again,

J

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7 hours ago, aMusicComposer said:

Hi,

Sounds pretty good. I think you would benefit from learning harmony and voice leading a little bit more. Counterpoint especially is a difficult area of study but is worth doing to vastly improve your skills in composition.

The main thing I pick out is that the lines are very close together, which means they overlap a lot and often sound a little confused. You could solve this by widening the space between the 1st and Bass part by either keeping the 1st in a higher register, moving onto alto trombone, or even moving the bass to Contrabass Trombone (the instrument is rare so this isn't necessarily the best solution).

If you have a PC, then it can be worth investigating notation software. Musescore is free, and is an excellent software. It is very user friendly and is good for amateur composers (it's what I use). However, most professional composers I've spoken to use Sibelius, which is more advanced and has better features. It is expensive though.

Good work! Just one more thing: what does the name signify?

 

Hi,

I have a chromebook so musescore is not available to me yet :(. Thanks for your feedback I will definitely be studying more harmony, voice leading and counterpoint as I continue to write more. 

I chose "Green" as the title because I didn't want the title to just be "Trombone Trio #1" instead. The Key of Eb and pieces written in this key signature have always made me think of green or a shade of green. This piece is a nice dark green to me. It also doesn't hurt that green is my favorite color 😉

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