Lento for Trio in E major

Here is the first movement for a trio sonata in Emajor I am working on. Any feedback is welcomed!

This piece sounds nice with good counterpoint. But I thing the flute is not in its most brilliant register.

10 hours ago, Luis Hernández said:

This piece sounds nice with good counterpoint. But I thing the flute is not in its most brilliant register.

 

Thats a fair point! I got some separate feedback that said the same thing! I am going to have to start using more of the different registers for the flutes when I write!

Hi, very nice indeed. I agree with Luis, the register feels more apropiaty for a Oboe or a second violin. 

The weakest part for me is the final cadence. It feels like something is missing there. If you add one measure before the end, it sounds more satisfiying to me. Basically you skip the tonic for a VI instead and then II6-V-I with a perfect authentic cadence.

It feels a much stronger arrival feeling in my opinion.

I'm looking forward for the next movements of your sonata 😉

Edited July 21, 20214 yr by Guillem82

3 hours ago, Guillem82 said:

Hi, very nice indeed. I agree with Luis, the register feels more apropiaty for a Oboe or a second violin. 

The weakest part for me is the final cadence. It feels like something is missing there. If you add one measure before the end, it sounds more satisfiying to me. Basically you skip the tonic for a VI instead and then II6-V-I with a perfect authentic cadence.

It feels a much stronger arrival feeling in my opinion.

I'm looking forward for the next movements of your sonata 😉

 

 

Thanks for the feedback! I can hear what you mean, I will have to go back and edit it for a stronger final cadence!

It's pretty. The imitation of voices is some places is nice. However, that results in a lot of movement in parallel. The harmonic progression throughout would be more effective with more contrary motion, such as Giuillem82 showed in his version of the harmony in your last two measures.

One more thing: The crossing of the violin and flute parts in bars 9-13 doesn't quite work for me. I'm sorry I'm not more articulate about why. It just seems a little weak.

Cheers,
Jer

Edited August 3, 20214 yr by Jerry Engelbach

I really like the counterpoint! It appears that your fundamentals are there, I think that you could try something more creative and adventurous though. Also with regard to the rendering, just curious, is this supposed to be with a harpsichord? Because it sounds as such.

For me the work is too "square" which makes the work feel a bit ponderous.  I would experiment with a more interesting counter melody and/or bass line to create a bit of momentum and variation.

2 hours ago, Joshua Ng said:

I really like the counterpoint! It appears that your fundamentals are there, I think that you could try something more creative and adventurous though. Also with regard to the rendering, just curious, is this supposed to be with a harpsichord? Because it sounds as such.

 

Yes it is supposed to be a harpsichord!

1 hour ago, MJFOBOE said:

For me the work is too "square" which makes the work feel a bit ponderous.  I would experiment with a more interesting counter melody and/or bass line to create a bit of momentum and variation.

 

Thats a fair point! I usually would, but I wanted to make a prelude like idea here, so I tried to make it a bit "simple", compared to the more complex ideas in the following movements.

23 hours ago, Jerry Engelbach said:

It's pretty. The imitation of voices is some places is nice. However, that results in a lot of movement in parallel. The harmonic progression throughout would be more effective with more contrary motion, such as Giuillem82 showed in his version of the harmony in your last two measures.

One more thing: The crossing of the violin and flute parts in bars 9-13 doesn't quite work for me. I'm sorry I'm not more articulate about why. It just seems a little weak.

Cheers,
Jer

 

Thanks! And that a fair criticism. I tried to make this idea more "simple" from a contrapuntal standpoint to be more prelude like, before the later faster movement, but I can see how I could have included more contrary motion between the voices!