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Edited by 89p0o5322ef
Minor changes on the pdf.

I quite like this work. The motifs are very well related.
My only doubt is the tessitura of the flute, which is not optimal for it.

On 9/8/2023 at 1:38 PM, Luis Hernández said:

I quite like this work. The motifs are very well related.
My only doubt is the tessitura of the flute, which is not optimal for it.

 

It's definitely on the low side, but as long as the pianist's touch is light, I think it will speak through clearly.

Hey Aaron,

-The opening is a good use of the circle of fifth, but maybe if you want to complete the series the first beat of b.4 can be a V6/4 chord with the G as the bass. Or the F act as a suspension will be great as well

- In b.6 beat 3 it should be a dominant C major chord, rather than a Bb major chord for the Piano LH.

- I think the parallel movement of Bb-C# in the flute and piano LH strange with the augmented second doubled, following a tritone G-C#. Maybe changing the melody will be more fitting to this style. B.20 also with the same melodic progression.

Thx for sharing!

Henry

 

 

On 9/11/2023 at 8:39 PM, Aiwendil said:

It's definitely on the low side, but as long as the pianist's touch is light, I think it will speak through clearly.

 

I see. In this case I would prefer to use another instrument whose more "natural" range matches the composition. The sound can be richer. But, in the end, it is a personal choice.

5 minutes ago, Luis Hernández said:

I see. In this case I would prefer to use another instrument whose more "natural" range matches the composition. The sound can be richer. But, in the end, it is a personal choice.

Maybe in terms of dynamic oboe can be a good choice with a louder low register!

Your first phrase in the flute is weak imo because it uses too much step-wise scalar motion which makes it seem like it's just wandering up and down the scales without really any melodic substance or significance.  You break away from this a little with the melodies later on after measure 14, but the general idea is still to move by step.  There are so many other interesting melodic tropes that you haven't even explored yet!  You could repeat notes, use neighbor tones, passing tones, escape tones, enclosure, and appogiaturas just to name a few.  Thanks for sharing!

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