Minatures for solo violin 'Chocolate'

Hi,

Here are a couple of little pieces that I wrote today. Lord willing, they will be part of a group of 10 plus minatures for solo violin. They are dedicated to the most wonderful and beautiful young woman in the world. Here are the midis. I will plugged the notes into Notepad so you guys can see the music. Please comment/critique them. I wrote them in about an half hour.

Heya,

I thought that the first was nice enough in terms of sound but it felt like it could use some fleshing out - some sort of interest, even within the confines of a "miniature".

The second one sounded remarkably like a fleshed out version of the first...:P

I'm feeling like they both share a remarkable lack of direction. The development is present but it feels unsatisfying and lacking in some quality which would give it a more "full" feel.

Good work, but these could use some more time and effort to get them sounding like significant, independent works.

Keep at it!

Here are two more minatures. Please review them. Are these two worth keeping?

No. 3- definitely an improvement on your first two! nice new ideas, but it still seems like it could be developed more.

No. 4- nice sense of movement! I liked this one the best, even though it was the shortest. I REALLY think you should work on developing these more. :D Great ideas!

The underlying idea is worth keeping right now if you work a lot on it. Did you consider them more or less finished after a half hour? It sounds to me like you found your melody, put the obvious correct harmony with it and quit. Explore things beyond the key. It doesn't have to be atonal or whatever, but I feel like I'm listening to a scale with rhythms and figurations that sound like you're practicing a scale sometimes. I would recommend looking at your melody and seeing what you can take from it. You have the basic idea now, develop it into music, don't just write down the original idea and call it finished.

For instance, the upward direction of your melody has so much potential to lead to something beautiful! Look at different possible arrival points for it, maybe add in a few sweet sounding minor parts, or use just fragments of it to lead elsewhere for a while and make us WANT the return, it will feel better when we get there. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL woman in the world deserves more time!:P

Keep up the work!

I also think the 3rd and 4th are much better than the first two.

And the 4th is my favorite, nice sense of movement, like swankswede13 said.

And I agree with sevanism, develop more.

Are you like me? As in your pieces with violin only cover what you can technically achieve? :P (my case is with piano)

If not, then here's an advice: Simply because it is a miniature, doesn't mean it can't have some virtuosism or hard parts.

Check my ''Impressions'', they're all very simple. Who knows, they might inspire you. :P

Hi, here is a new version of the first minature. I tried to develop the theme better. Anyways. here it is: